Chapter 16

In which Frelik swears off all liquids... and then a snake fell on them

After a successful day of buying finery and various other things, the group returned to the mansion, Frelik with his noble red fox fur cloak, Valeria and Cecilia with their dresses, Akura with new vestments, Magpie with a new, deep blue robe, Olivine with a sleekly tailored, classy dress and Yuri’s single concession to fashion: a golden bowtie purchased for him by the Magpie.

Magpie, returning first, scoured the house, losing several hours to eating salted jerky in the basement.  As he came back up the stairs, Barnsworth, the elderly Halfling butler met him at the top, “May I help you, sir?”

“No... no I’m fine.” Magpie grinned.

“Hm.”  The dour little man nodded, “Very well then.”  He wandered off again.

Once the butler was out of sight, the bird-man continued on his search of the house, moving on to the upper hall.  Under the bed in the guest room he found a weathered leather scrapbook detailing Cecilia’s youthful adventures.

In Cecilia’s room he found a pile of tearstained letters from her husband, but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary, just fine gowns, lacy underthings and a box full of flashy gold jewelry.

He eyed the jewelry, reaching for it.  With a grumble Akura marched into the room, grabbed the Magpie by the scruff of the neck and dragged him out in a shower of jewels, gold and caws.

“You!  Stay out of this room or I will drop kick your face!”  Akura shouted as the rest of the group came through the front door.

Akura stormed back down the stairs and straight out the front door as the Magpie continued on his search, moving up into the attic.  There he came face to face with the creepy, cymbal wielding monkey.  He poked it a couple of times.  Nothing happened.

He moved on, finding a magical rapier and darkwood buckler.  And a less dusty crate of ridiculously cute modern clothes sized for an eight to ten year old boy.

Shortly before six oclock, lady Dromdel made her way down to the main floor in her elevator.  Valeria managed to smuggle in pistols into dinner, while Magpie brought some daggers, and Frelik wore his sword in a ceremonial fashion. 

The girls and the rest of the guests arrived shortly after six.  Barnsworth was pleased to introduce Jebediah Stewardsfield; a greasy middle aged man who identified himself as the prime banker in town.  An older woman, Nina Gusenholdt, arrived accompanied by her slightly slow, upperclass twit nephew, Ned who stared at Magpie for a long moment before exclaiming, “You’re a birdman!” He then turned to Frelik, “And you’re not from these parts.”  The two men gave him blank stares and he clapped his hands, “This is gonna be a great party, what?”

Lady Dromdel and Lady Gusenholdt filled the time before dinner by engaging in some light conversation about the dreadful weather they’d been having, the state of their grounds and the terribly inconvenient murders.

“So what about these murders I’ve been hearing so much about?” Valeria asked Ned, twirling her hair on her finger.

“Oh yes, dreadfully smashing stuff to read about!  Papers dubbed him Swanny Todd.”  Ned bubbled, clapping his hands, “Several other nobs got their throats slashed right good.  In fact, Cecilia’s husband was the first.”  He looked faintly appalled as he met Cecilia’s eyes.  He tittered nervously, “Oh, there were many others that followed, what?  Wasn’t like he was the only target.  But ah, yes, crimson smiles across their throats and they arrested a little fella, couldn’t be more than three, four feet tall.  Just like...”  He waved Barnsworth over, “Just like this fellow, though it couldn’t have been him, he’s so old!”

“And what about the weather?”  Valeria asked, interrupting pointedly to save Cecilia some of her obvious embarrassment.

Ned paused for a moment, then laughed, “Oh yes, do forgive me, I sometimes get carried away.  Yes, dreadful weather, what?”

“Isn’t it always drizzling here?”  Valeria asked.

“No.  Sometimes there’s lighting.”  Ned replied, just as a huge crash of lighting sounded from outside.

Lady Dromdel took over the conversation again, “Cecilia, I believe you’ve met Jebediah?”  The red-faced banker nodded, “A man like Jebediah never has to worry about his means.”

“Yes.”  Jebediah rumbled, making eyes at the girl, “I never need to worry about financial security.”

After some quick whispering between Valeria and Magpie, Valeria leaned towards the banker, making sure to display her cleavage as she said, “So... you’re into money, hmm?  That’s so... hot.”

Once the banker was suitably distracted by the gunslinger, Magpie had a decent chance to chat with Cecilia.  Which caused much dismay for Lady Dromdel and much relief for Cecilia.

At one point Magpie accidentally knocked his knife off the table and it skittered across the floor to twang into the wall next to Barnsworth who simply rolled his eyes and brought the bird man another one.

Somewhere around the dessert course, Baron, Lady Dromdel’s lapdog leapt off her lap and bolted for the window, yapping wildly and running in circles.  In addition to the yapping, a faint howling could be heard from outside.  Soon Sashie, Lady Dromdel’s mastiff, could be heard baying from upstairs.

Akura stood, moving to the window and peering out as the Magpie excused himself, heading outside.  Once outside, it sounded to Magpie that the howling was coming from inside the house; from down below.

Magpie came back inside and headed for the basement.  Akura instructed Frelik to stay and protect the dinner party while he followed the Magpie downstairs.  The other guests seemed pretty shaken by the noise.

Finding nothing obvious in the basement, the two dashed upstairs to get Sashie but the door to the room was locked.

The Magpie darted back downstairs, “I’m very sorry Lady Dromdel, but I’m afraid we need access to your quarters, may I have your key?”

“Very well.”  The Lady replied, “I will meet you up there.”

Once Lady Dromdel arrived on the upper floor she shushed Sashie and opened the door for them.  Magpie moved into the bedroom, looking around, “Lady Dromdel,” he said, “I hate to be insensitive and ask this, but do you have any magical items in your vanity?”

“Yes.”  The old woman replied, “I have some medications to help with my strength these days, I am not as young as I used to be.”

Akura listened at the window and heard the howling again, but it seemed to be much more clear from the elevator shaft.

“Does your elevator only travel between this floor and the main floor, or can it go to the basement?”  Akura asked.

“Only between these floors.” The lady replied, but the reply rang with untruth.

“I see.” Akura frowned, “Well, it must just have been some howling off in the hills, I suppose.  Please, feel free to return to your guests.”

The old lady eyed them suspiciously, “Very well.  I’ll meet you back downstairs.”

Back on the main floor the old lady announced, “I’m afraid all this excitement has been too much for my aging nerves, Ned, you’ll see your aunt home?  Jebediah, a pleasure, as always.... Cecilia, say goodbye to Jebediah.”

Jebediah slipped his card into Valeria’s bosom, “You should come by and see me sometime, my dear, I have some... investments we should discuss.”

“Oh really, Jebediah, get out of my house!”  Lady Dromdel snapped.

“Mother, are you all right?”  Cecilia asked, seeming worried.

“Yes, yes.”  Her mother replied, “I’m just a little shaken from the dogs and whatnot.”  She got back into the elevator and went upstairs.

“I’m so sorry about my mother.”  Cecilia murmured, “I could use some fresh air, if there is someone who would like to escort me?”

Magpie and Valeria escorted the girl out.  Akura and Frelik moved over to the elevator, attempting to open the door.  With a little jimmying, Frelik managed to get it open and they look inside.  About ten feet above they could see the bottom of the elevator floor.  Olivine stepped up to the opening, casting some dancing lights and sending them down the tunnel.  The shaft went thirty or forty feet into the ground; well past the basement... and no one remembered seeing an elevator exit in the basement.

Outside, Magpie asked Cecilia about the mysterious box of modern boy’s clothes, but she seemed to know very little.

Once the three had returned inside, Akura told them what they’d discovered about the elevator shaft.

“How old is the elevator?” Valeria asked.

“It was installed about ten years ago when mother started having her health problems.” Cecilia replied, “Though Mother had some men in to service it about a year ago.”

“Did anything else odd happen a year ago?”  Akura pressed.

Cecilia frowned, “Now that you mention it, Father was away on a hunting trip about a year ago and sent something back in a crate, but I have no idea whatever happened to it.”

An uncomfortable look passed between the party.

“Lady Cecilia, I suggest you take Davros here and lock yourself in your room.”  Magpie said.

“If you think that’s best.” The girl murmured.

Once the group was back in their adventuring gear and the girl was safely in bed Akura went first down the shaft and was immediately assailed by the stench of wet animal.  He signalled the Magpie to come next, then Frelik, Valeria and Olivine.

By the light of the sunrod Akura had dropped, they could see a partially hewn stone room.  There were stone faces carved into the walls, the last two of which still seemed to be fleshy.  The room was filled with straw palleting, a rough-hewn table and a delicate tea set.

In the corner was a stout, dog-like creature with a long whipping tail with a grasping claw at the end.  It was growling.

“Anytime guys.”  Akura whispered back up the shaft.

Ever impatient, Frelik pushed past the Magpie, knocking the bird-man down the shaft and sending the barbarian tumbling after him.

Olivine shimmied carefully down the rope, with Valeria successfully scooting past.

Akura and the creature swung at eachother, but they both missed.

“That’s an ahuizotl,” Magpie shouted, “They’re tenacious grapplers from the Mwangi Expanse... they like to kill and eat people.  They’re dicks.”

Akura tumbled past the thing, taking damage while Frelik charged it and got struck by its lashing tail before striking it with a solid hit.

Valeria pulled out her gun and fired, heedless of the noise.

Magpie attempted to heal Frelik while Akura scored a solid one-two hit.

Frelik pulled out his hand axe and finished the creature with flourish, reducing it to a steaming pile of badly hacked meat.

Chapter 15

In which dinosaur flatulence is discussed at length and it is discovered that it is not truly a D&D session until Monty Python is quoted, or Owlbears make an appearance.

Recovering from their brave, tactical advance to the rear in the face of certain ghosts, the group returned to the town with the children, repairing back to Yuri’s cousin-adoptive-father’s tavern, the Laughing Demon.  They found the parents holding vigil at the pub – and drinking their faces off.

Frelik hoisted a glass and drowned it, swaying and proclaiming that he was getting hammered off the gross water.

Grateful for the safe return of their offspring, mothers whisked their children off to bed while the fathers stuck around to hear the party’s war stories.  The group is cheerfully informed that their tab is covered for the night, so the group drinks as much as they can.  Frelik tapped out early, having downed an entire bottle of potato vodka, and passed out on the table.  Magpie went down next, which led Akura, who was still sober, to arrange the two in a recovery-position sixty-nine just for the fun of it.

The next morning, somewhat the worse for wear, the group gathered in the tavern.  Yuri’s cousin frowned as he served them breakfast, “So... where are you folks headed?”

They explained that they are headed to Nerosyan.  Zokar advises that they follow the river to Chastel.  From there they can either follow the river or take a risk and strike off across the fields to Dravod Knock, just on the Numerian side of the border.  The group thanked him for the advice and took their leave amidst many tearful goodbyes.

The grateful parents met the party on the edge of town, offering baskets of food and care packages, totalling enough food for a week, as well as a wand of cure moderate wounds.

The rest of that day passed uneventfully, as did the camp that night.

The next day, however, was not quite so quiet.  Just after lunch, as they set out along the river again, a pair of huge, hulking, feathered creatures loomed up, blocking the party’s path.

Akura immediately took to the trees, stealthing along.  Davros shrieked like a girl and dropped off the back of his horse to cower behind it.

Valeria rode forward and fired, nailing one of the creatures in the face.  It growled then hooted a little bit.  The group surmised that these feathered, furry creatures must be owlbears.

The creatures advanced on the group.

Frelik cried out, leaping off the back of his horse and scrambling up a nearby tower ruin.  Akura emerged from the woods, whirling through a heel-down kick and nailing the owlbear who had been shot.

Davros, with a low grumble, moved through the wall of horseflesh before him to hurl a bomb at the same one Akura had kicked.  That owlbear turned, owlbear-hugging Akura while the other grappled Davros.

Valeria shrieked and fired at the same creature as before, causing it to collapse and release Akura.

Frelik, in his infinite wisdom, did a backward roll and attempted to leap off the tower sword first, missing horribly and landing at the creature’s feet with a hollered “Shiiiiiit!”

Davros, trying to break the owlbear hug, managed to enrage the creature and get himself attacked once again, calling for help.

Valeria, making a foolish choice, fired at the grappling pair, narrowly missing Davros and striking the creature for minor damage.  Frelik advanced on the creature, but it snapped its beak at him, sending him into a very ineffectual rage.

Akura slammed a hard fist into the creature’s knee, but missed with his uppercut as the creature fell.

Davros went limp in the owlbear’s arms, so the creature turned his vicious attention on Akura.  While it was distracted, Valeria fired at the creature, putting a bullet between its eyes.

Magpie rushed to Davros’ assistance, helping him recover so he could heal the rest of the party.

Frelik, meanwhile, carved some buffalo style owlbear wings out of the carcasses.

The next few days passed uneventfully, allowing the party to reach Chastel in peace.

Valeria, riding into town first, declared, “Where is the tavern, peasants!  I have not had a drink since Ravengrow!”

Avoiding the two-storey hooker, they pressed on to the well-lit two story building that seemed to be a tavern.  A battered sign of a one-legged sheep hung over the door.  The common room was bustling with activity, so much so that the party was forced to take their libations standing at the bar.

Akura inquired about rooms but the innkeeper, making his way over to them, replied, “Sorry, but all my rooms are full with the spring festival.”

As the party discussed potential accommodations with the rotund man, a well-dressed woman approached the group timidly, seeming a little put off by them, but clearly determined to speak with them.

With a quiet squawk of ‘mine’ Magpie walked over to the woman, “Good evening, you seem to be...”

“Oh, hello, I... this might seem forward, but we get so few visitors in town.... my name is Cecilia.  I couldn’t help overhearing your troubles.”

“Yes, we are looking for a place to stay.”

“You should come stay with me and my mother.”

“Oh good, is there anything we can do in exchange for your hospitality?” Magpie offered.  Her eyes lit up but Magpie pressed on, “Anything I can do?”

She shut her mouth and blushed.

“Sorry,” Magpie muttered, “It has been so long since I’ve seen such a beautiful woman.”

Akura sighed and invited the woman to join them.

“Yes, actually we’ve had a bit of trouble in town,” she murmured, “and you seem like a.... well-armed crew.”

“What kind of troubles,” Valeria demanded in a loud, drunken voice, “Is it the kind involving death, or un-death?”

With a dirty glance at Valeria the woman said, “Perhaps we should take this discussion somewhere quieter, and more private.”

She led the group, wagon and all, to a fair-sized estate at the edge of town called Dromdel Manor glancing around nervously though they don’t seem to be followed.

As they entered a street called Swan street, Cecilia began telling the group about the murders; bodies appearing and people disappearing.  The townsfolk had eventually managed to track down a deranged Halfling called Swanny Todd and accuse him of murder but the Halfling escaped on the way to the gallows and was now on the loose again. 

Tears in her eyes, she told them that one of Swanny Todd’s first victims was her young husband, Michael.  Fearing for her own life, she asks only for protection for a few nights in return for a place to stay.

“It has been only two nights since he escaped,” she explained, “but there have been no more murders to date.  All of his victims were nobles.”  When asked about her family, she explained that the house belonged to her family and her husband had married into it.  Her father was out hunting and she hoped he would be back soon, given the recent troubles.

The inside of the manor was decorated in greens and browns; all colours and styles long-since out of fashion.  As Cecilia opened the door, an elderly Halfling servant appeared.

“M’lady?”  he drawled.

“Ah, Barnsworth, these are our guests, aren’t they wonderful?”

“Yes, m’lady, I’m sure that your mother will be pleased.”

“Oh, yes, mother.”

The servant showed them into an elegant sitting room with some aged furniture and a bar in one corner.

“Please, feel free to make yourselves a drink.”  She offered.

Still infernally thirsty, Frelik chugged a bottle of what he thought was water.  It wasn’t.  He passed out.  Again. 

Akura dragged him outside and dumped him head-first into a rain barrel.

Fifteen minutes later the elderly Halfling returned with a plate of slices of boar, cheese and bread.

Cecilia brought in an elderly woman in a wheelchair, “Please, let me introduce my mother, the lady Oraluna Dromdel.”

The elderly woman eyed them with displeasure, stroking the tiny, rat-sized dog in her lap.  A mastiff was chained to her chair.  “Yes, my daughter says you’ll be staying with us...”  The old woman murmured, seeming faintly disgruntled, “Well, that will be delightful.”

“Well, we don’t want to be any trouble.”  Valeria smiled.

“Oh, no, it’s no trouble.”  The woman replied, “How long are you staying?  A few days?  You do have... clothing?” She eyed the party’s shabby attire.

“We have been on the road for quite some time...”  Akura shrugged, “But yes, we do have nice clothes.”

“Very well, I am having a dinner party tomorrow night.  You are welcome to attend.”  Lady Dromdel said.

Something about that statement sent Magpie and Valeria into a shouting match, at which point Lady Dromdel excused herself for the evening.

Valeria eyed Cecilia in an effort to determine if they were the same size, but Magpie misinterpreted and hissed at her, “By the gods, if you do anything with her I will make you into a new saddlebag for my weapons.”

“So, where are we sleeping tonight?”  Valeria asked Cecilia, eyeing the Magpie now, “Perhaps one of us should stay close to you just in case.”

The girl nodded, “Of course.  You may stay in my room, Valeria.”

Valeria winked overtly at the Magpie as Cecilia led her up to her room.

Claiming various rooms, the group bedded down for the night – except for Akura, who felt the need to explore. 

To the left from the entry way was the salon, to the right were the offices of lord Dromdel.  The foyer then led into the dining room where a pulley and rope operated elevator existed to move lady Dromdel between floors.  Directly off the dining room was the living room, and beyond that a kitchen, the butler’s quarters and a set of stairs that led up to the second floor where Cecilia and Lady Dromdel had their rooms, as well as a guest room.

The basement consisted mostly of the usual linens and foods which needed to be kept cool.

Akura searched the house, ensuring that all the doors and windows are locked.  In the attic, in a back room, he found a worn and frayed cymbal-wielding monkey which seemed to be staring at him from across the room.  He backed away and left it in peace.

Magpie, meanwhile, searched the basement but found nothing out of the ordinary.

Yuri took a quick look around the stables, but, while they seemed to still be in use, there were no animals present but the party’s own.

Partway through the night, the group was disturbed by the baying of a hound and the yapping of a tiny dog from upstairs, but it ended abruptly.

Akura crept up to the second floor, listening at Lady Dromdel’s door.  He heard the lady trying to quiet the animals.  “My lady,” he called, tapping at the door, “Is everything all right?”

She made her way to the door, “Yes, yes, they’re all right.  Some nights they have problems; other animals in the night....  They’ll quiet down.”

Sensing that she was hiding something, Akura asked politely if there was anything he could do before excusing himself and wishing her a good night.  Unsatisfied by her answer, he lingered a few moments outside of her door, listening for anything strange, but heard nothing.

The next morning dawned to the smell of coffee, eggs and bacon.

“What happened last night?”  Frelik groaned.

“Let’s just say that clear liquids aren’t always water.”  Akura smirked. 

Once the barbarian had recovered from his stupor, Akura dragged him outside to study the ground underneath the old lady’s window to see if someone had visited the old lady’s room during the night.

Valeria suggested shopping, exciting Cecilia who begged her mother to allow for the purchase of new clothes.

The elderly woman heaved a heavy sigh, “Well, I suppose.  There isn’t much to be seen in that town, but I suppose you may have a new dress made.”  She turned to Valeria, “Do I need to pay for yours too?”

“Oh, no.”  Valeria assured her.

“Very well.  Then I assume after lunch will be acceptable?”

Both girls nodded.

On the way into town Akura took the chance to ask Cecilia about the creepy monkey he’d found staring at him in the attic the night before, but her answer was less than satisfactory as she simply shrugged and said, “I don’t know, there are many old toys from my childhood, and even some leftover from my mother’s childhood.”

Chapter 14

In which many unusual sexual feats are discussed, including Yuri’s lusty appetites and Akura’s meat-sack-ness

The group stared in wonder at the fearless, dark-haired female child seated cross-legged on the floor next to a pile of moldering fabric and bones talking calmly to an eerie floating female spectre.

From the back of the party Valeria yelped and yanked her hand out of the Magpie’s pocket.

At the sound of Valeria’s yelp, the ghostly woman turned to look at the party, “Are you the new guards?”  She asked.

“No.”  Valeria stated.

“We’re here to find the children who had gone missing.”  Akura offered.

The girl finally turned to look at them, surprise widening her eyes as she took in their outlandish appearances.

“Your parents were worried for your safety and sent us to bring you home.”  Akura explained, moving further into the room.

“Are you okay?” Valeria asked, also moving into the room.

“Yes, thank you.”  The girl said, gesturing to the ghost, “Anna saved me.”

Akura bowed to the spectre, “Thank you.”

The group remembered that the deceased warden’s wife’s name had been Vesorianna, this Anna was likely her ghost.

“I fear this place is taking its toll on my husband...” The spectre explained, confirming their suspicions, “His spirit is keeping the madmen in check.”  She shook her head, “So many haunted, restless souls.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?”  Akura offered.

“Do we really want to do that?” Valeria whispered, pinching the monk’s arm.

“Need I remind you we’re on a mission for Pharasma?” The monk hissed back, finishing with a glance skyward and a barely breathed, “That heartless bitch.”

“He’s just been having trouble deciding who needs to be locked away.” Anna said, waving away the offer.  Sadness tinted her expression, “I know he’s been patrolling, I’ve seen his lantern.  He keeps most of the madmen locked away, but then he tried to lock the children up as well... I don’t think he can tell the difference anymore...”

“Please, if you can, tell us what has happened since the fire?”  Magpie asked politely.

“Most of the nights since the fire have been quiet.”  Anna said, “The madmen howl at night, but my husband does his rounds and keeps them in their cells.  Recently it’s almost like his mind starting to go and he’s having trouble telling who needs to be in their cells.”

“Why would there be new guards?” Valeria asked, frowning, “This place is abandoned.”

“To replace the inept ones who locked me in here.” She replied as though it were obvious.

“Is there some way to lay the madmen to rest?” Davros asked.

“It would be a large undertaking.” She replied doubtfully, “If you could simply get the living out of here and ensure that we aren’t bothered again, my husband can keep the spirits in check.”

“If we were able to put all of these souls to rest would that be more of a comfort to you and your husband?” Magpie offered.

“It would.” She replied, though she still looked openly doubtful.

“Could you shield us from attacks by your husband while we tried?” Valeria asked.

“I can’t seem to leave this room,” the ghost replied, “I can see his lantern, but I cannot seem to get him to listen to me.”

“Would you like us to help you put your remains to rest?” Akura asked.

She struggled for a moment with her answer before saying, “Eternal rest does sound tempting... but I am needed here.”

“What were you protecting the children from?” Akura asked.

“My husband.”  She said, “I can only manifest myself in limited ways, but I managed to stop my husband from locking them up.”

Thanking Anna for her help in saving Gerty and the other children, the group sent the little girl on her way home and pressed on to find the last child.  They opened the double doors, following the last set of tracks, only to discover a wide curving staircase leading up.

Leading the way up the stairs, Akura pushed through an iron grate and paused at the door, listening for any threats on the other side.  He heard nothing so they opened the door.

A hallway stretched out on either side of them.  To their right about thirty feet away was a wall with a crumbled hole in it.  Akura scouted the hole.  As he approached it, he could see an abandoned eating area off to his right whose back wall was decimated, revealing the courtyard and the fetid lake beyond.  On his other side was a doorless privy.

As Akura passed the dining area something stirred and five bat-winged mosquito-like creatures exploded from the rubble.  Akura shrieked something about monsters.

“Are they on fire?” Davros called.

“No.”  Akura replied, looking confused.

“I can fix that.” The plague-doctor grinned, pushing to the front of the group and hefting a bomb.

Valeria swung around the corner and squeezed off a shot, exploding one.

Akura stepped up and slammed his fist into a second one, turning it into a fine red mist.

The remaining three creatures rushed the group, attaching themselves to Akura, Valeria and the Magpie and inserting their proboscises.  Valeria and Akura managed to dislodge theirs, but Magpie had a bit more trouble.  Olivine blasted it with a ray of cold, weakening it and leaving it open to Davros’ mace attack.

It exploded.

Magpie braced a hand against the wall, swaying woozily, having lost quite a bit of blood.  Davros handed him a tiny glass vial that the Magpie drank gratefully, feeling instantly better.

Just across from the latrines were a pair of hallways lined with doors leading into ten by ten cells.  The child’s footsteps led away from the cells into a set of double doors off the eating area.

While the group was studying the child’s footprints a faint, bluish, lantern-like glow approached from the far row of cells.  As Valeria rushed past the group to hide behind one of the tables she mumbled to the everyone she passed, “Ah, guys, I think something’s coming.”

With an alarmed squawk the Magpie ran for the door the child had taken, ducking behind Valeria.

“Sir, we are the new guards here to assist you.”  Akura yelled, standing his ground.

The bluish light responded by slamming into the monk, zapping him good.

“What are you talking to a will-o’-wisp for... are you stupid?”  Davros called.

“Eek!”  Olivine shrieked, hurling a pair of magic missiles at the spectral light.  They crashed into the thing, but it didn’t seem to care.

Valeria opened the door, following the child’s footprints.  Beyond the door were the charred remains of a kitchen.  The footprints led to a door on the far side of the room.

Akura, meanwhile, took a pair of swings at the thing, missing as he danced away from it, screaming like a girl.

Davros threw a bomb, singeing the thing and sickening it.  It vomited sparks.

“You guys are doin’ great!”  Magpie called, offering a thumbs-up before rushing through the kitchen to open the pantry door.  He found a small blond girl cowering in the dark there.

“You guys are dicks!”  Akura shouted, still battling the irritating ball of hovering blue light.

“Hello Isabelle, we’ve been sent by your mother to get you out.”  Magpie smiled, offering her his hand and leading the child out of the kitchen.

Olivine hurled another pair of magic missiles into the thing, damaging it further but not putting it down.

Davros hurled a second bomb at the creature.  It flickered.

Leaving the girl in Valeria’s capable (and un-feathered) hands, Magpie rushed back to the rest of the group, offering to help.

Seeing that things were not stacked in its favour, the blue spark disappeared.

After a few moments of tense silence, when the spark didn’t reappear, the group decided to press on and deal with the thing if and when it came up.

A few moments after sending the girl away another lantern glow appeared from the hall at the far side of the cells, this one was being held aloft by a spectral man who yelled, “What are you doing out of your cells!”

“We’re your new guards.”  Davros bluffed.

The spectre cocked a skeptical eyebrow.

“We are your new guards.” Akura tried.

“Indeed.”  Yuri nodded, stepping up next to Akura and crossing his arms to fortify the bluff.

Magpie stepped around the corner, distracted, “Hey guys, what’s goin’ on.”

The spectre frowned at the odd bird-man.

Valeria opened her mouth, but nothing helpful came out.

“Why would we need guards?”  The ghost demanded.

“We are here at the behest of your wife Anna to protect the living by getting them out.”  Yuri supplied.

The spectre nodded slowly, seeming to buy into the bluff a bit more.  He drifted forward, raising his lantern to inspect Yuri.

Unfortunately the party’s courage was not up to the task (except for Olivine who apparently has a will of iron).  Davros bolted down the stairs, Akura bolted out the window.  Magpie dropped his sword, which skittered to Olivine’s feet, and fled down the stairs.  Valeria dropped her pistol and bolted after the party.  With a heavy sigh Olivine picked up the dropped weapons and followed the group.

They fled out of the prison and back to town without looking back, taking the children back to their parents.

Their successful return of all the children ensured that the party was able to stay in style for the rest of their break, living off the gratitude of the townsfolk – after strongly suggesting that perhaps the accesses to the prison should be better fortified against further curious folk.

Chapter 13

In which the party keenly feels the absence of fighters and learns that laundry is not always innocent.

The party approached the huge doors, which were obviously maintained by some unnatural force, not wanting to spend too much time underneath the worrisomely sagging roof beams. 

Streaks of mold painted the walls of the foyer beyond and a big mossy growth covered the entire floor.  Each wall held at least one door, several more than one, offering multiple options.

From here the children’s footprints split, some going north through the doors and some through the single door to the east.  Deciding that the footprints could wait (or failing to notice them) the Magpie chose the first door to the west.  The fading light from outside slanted through a single small window, but otherwise the corridor, and the door at the far end was shrouded in gloom.

The rest of the party froze, noticing that the door Magpie opened seemed to be swaying back and forth ever so slightly.  Magpie frowned at the wood, placing a hand on the door, “It seems necromantic.”

Not seeming particularly bothered by his own observation, Magpie entered the hallway.  No one else seemed inclined to enter, though Yuri did take up a position at the door, ready to help in case something went wrong.

As soon as the Magpie crossed the threshold the door slammed shut in Yuri’s face.

“You okay?”  Valeria called.

“For now.”  Magpie’s muffled voice replied, “I guess I’ll try the other door....”

“Wait!”  Valeria called.  They tried to shove the door open but failed miserably.

Desperate to find a way to their friend, the remaining folk opened the double doors next to the jammed single door.  Through this door was a large room full of rows of stone benches, all spotted with various kinds of mold.  The benches all seemed to be facing the doors where the party entered.  This place had obviously been used as an auditorium if the rotting stage, or more likely a gallows, against the wall were was any clue.

Magpie, meanwhile, had pressed on to the doors at the other end of the hall and entered a small room full of shelves full of antique jars, some of which still bore labels.  He found a single wand which detected as magic and pocketed it.

In the larger room, across the gallows from where the party had entered stood another set of double doors.  Everyone but Yuri noticed the doors they’d passed through waggling as well and the temperature of the room dropped suddenly. 

Ever quick on the draw, Valeria unleashed her spiral of Pharasma, cancelling out the haunt; a cold spot centered on the gallows where hundreds of executions had taken place.

Valeria moved across to the other doors and opened them.  The room beyond was mostly empty save for a few old training implements for the guards.  The far wall was partially fallen into a pool of dark water.  A large hole surrounded by black scorch marks broke the earth.

Having collected all the items of value in his tiny room, Magpie returned to the first door, which opened easily now.  He joined the rest of the group in the execution room.

They ventured further into the training room.  Magpie immediately approached the edge of the pond.  As he neared the hole things began moving within the rubble.  Three flaming skulls emerged from the rocks, hovering and clacking their jaws menacingly.

First off the mark, the plague doctor hurled a bomb with unerring accuracy.  Unfortunately the flaming skulls were apparently immune to fire damage.  Cawing, Magpie swatted one of the skulls with his blade, cleaving it perfectly in twain.

Valeria cracked off a shot, exploding another skull.  Excited by his friends’ success, Yuri swung his sword, bonking the final skull but not killing it.  It rushed at Yuri, who took another swing, achieving only a glancing blow that was just enough to distract it from succeeding in its flaming headbutt.  The entire party took turns swinging at the thing, everyone missing.

Finally Yuri managed to nick the thing for a third time, sending it spiralling into a wall where it exploded.

Magpie picked up a rock, made it glow and dropped it down the hole by the pond.  The room fifteen feet below appeared to be a natural cavern and underground pond.

With nothing left to see Yuri managed to convince the group to return to the foyer and actually follow some of the children’s tracks.  They chose the single door to the west next.

This door opened onto a hallway with one window and six doors. With Valeria in the lead they followed the tracks, which looked like the child had been running, to a door at the far end of the hall where they disappeared.

The tiny room beyond the door contained nothing but a few overturned washbasins and a set of tracks which led to the only other door in the room; the privy door.  Inside the privy cowered a portly boy with red hair.

“Rorik.”  Magpie squawked.

“Get the hell out!”  Valeria screamed, waving her pistol like a madwoman, terrifying the child.

Olivine sighed and stepped out from behind the gunslinger, “I’ll take it from here.”  She took the boy’s trembling hand and guided him out.

The rest of them tried the next door in line.  The room looked like an office, containing a desk, chair and locked safe.  Davros moved to try and unlock the safe.  Before he got too far Magpie stepped forward and offered a set of masterwork thieves’ tools to the half-orc.  After a little finessed and jimmying the door popped open.

The safe contained some out of date legal documents, a box of five hundred gold, and a case of nine potions; some cure moderate wounds, remove disease, and lesser restoration.

The other four doors in the hallway led into a set of plain offices.  Other than old paperwork there was very little of value in any of the rooms.  Both Valeria and Magpie grabbed random sheaves of paper before the group pressed on.

They opened the last set of double doors leading off the foyer, revealing a hallway with several doors – and many different sets of child tracks.  Magpie pushed open the set of double doors immediately to their left, following a pair of tracks.

The doors opened into another hallway with two hallways branching off of it.  The first hallway was broad, with two sets of doors leading off it.  Magpie opened the first door on his right, following one of the two sets of footprints.

The door was just barely hanging on its hinges.  The room beyond appeared to be an old chapel, cobwebs coating every surface with gossamer threads.  Four spiders stirred as the group entered.  Three of them were about two feet across and the fourth was nearly four feet.

“Those are fuckin’ big spiders.” Valeria stated, staring at one of the smaller ones.  Then she noticed the larger one, “And that’s a fuckin’ huge spider.”

She stepped into the room and fired her pistol at the largest of the spiders, pissing them off.

With a hissing clack, the large spider shot a web, draping the Magpie in the sticky substance.  The three smaller ones rushed the cocoon, taking advantage of his immobility.

Davros hurled a stinking bomb at the feet of the largest spider, exploding it while failing to affect the others at all.

Struggling against his bonds, Magpie swung at one of the spiders.  He hit it but didn’t kill it.

Yuri failed to hit any of the spiders.

With a mighty yell Akura took a running leap, flipping over Magpie and landing between two of the spiders before moving past them, narrowly avoiding their attacks.  He slammed his fist into one of them, exploding it.

Valeria reloaded her pistol, looked around and took a step back.

One of the remaining spiders slashed at Magpie while the other missed Akura.  Davros responded to their attacks by failing to use his crossbow effectively.

Magpie sliced one of the spiders in half while Yuri moved into the room and whiffed.  Akura gave the final creature the old one-two and it exploded as well.

After a brief search Valeria found a thin, pale boy named Wendell cowering in a cabinet.

“Tell me child, why were you running?”  Valeria asked.

“Noises n’ ghosts.... We were exploring and... upstairs there were ghosts.”  The boy replied.  “When I hid in here I didn’t know the spiders were here, so I hid in the cabinet.  We tried to leave, but we couldn’t get out.” 

They pass the child off to Olivine who led the boy out, comforting him.

Behind Wendell in the cabinet were five vials of holy water, a scroll of lesser restoration, and a partially used wand of cure light wounds.

Leaving the room Akura moved to the door across the hall and pushed it open.  Beyond was a room in shambles, old wooden benches lay in bits, chunks of chain and rope peppered amidst the wreckage.  In the centre of the room were a set of manacles that gave off a faint magical aura.

Magpie entered the room, poking at the manacles with his blade.  The metal leapt to life, attempting to attach themselves to the bird-man and failing.

Davros pulled out a mysterious bag of popcorn and began eating it.

The bird-man dropped his katana, which promptly whizzed over to embed itself in the wall as he drew his cold-iron longsword and swung at the manacles, whiffing.

Valeria fired a shot, but it glanced off the metal and flew wide.

Akura, always thinking, hurled a vial of holy water at the manacles.  The water splashed all over the metal, doing obvious damage.  Yuri hurled his own vial, banking it off the ceiling, soaking the Magpie and only managing to splash the manacles.

Davros managed to finish them off with a final vial of holy water.

The group moved on, following the next set of footprints, stopping at a door that they passed along the way.  This room was full of washbasins and moldy piles of clothes.  One of the piles of fabric glowed faintly with magic so the Magpie, in his infinite wisdom, entered the room and poked the pile with his longsword.

A straightjacket leapt up and flung itself at him, slamming into him and trying to constrict him, but failing.

Valeria sauntered to the door, laughing, “That’s classic!”

Akura stepped forward, swinging his kama and striking at the thing.

Magpie followed suit, slicing at it.

The jacket, still active, slammed into the Magpie again.

After several failed attempts to put it down, it finally succeeded in wrapping around the Magpie, trying to squeeze the life out of him.  With a long-suffering sigh Yuri stepped forward and poured a vial of holy water on the vest.  It shuddered once and dropped to the ground.

The group moved on to the next door, following the childish footprints.  Akura pushed it open.

This room was full of workbenches, tangled mounds of fabric and various other tailoring tools.  A skeletal arm protruded from a mound of fabric in the western part of the room.  Seated next to that particular heap was a young, plain, dark-haired girl, she was chatting casually with a hovering spectre.

Chapter 12

In which the party discusses statutory rape at length and Yuri encounters a long lost cousin... ahem... father... ahem... let’s just go with family.

Once the Tengu was satisfied that everyone was well enough to get back to the orc camp, the group began the trudge home, dragging the dead ankegs and former-orc-commander-turned-corpse with them.

The rest of the night was spent in raucous celebration with the orc tribe, both in honour of their kills and to mourn the dead from the hunting party.  Magpie made out the best in the deal, managing to squirrel away and keep the orc leader’s falchion with no one the wiser.  Meanwhile Frelik smoked the wyvern’s tail he’d salvaged before disappearing until the first rays of dawn.  When later questioned about his adventures, he couldn’t remember a single thing.

The following dawn found the party mounting up and riding out for the borders of the hold of Belkzen.  Luck was with the party as they worked their way along the Sunwall, encountering nothing more dangerous than the rattlesnake that briefly took up residence in one of Valeria’s boots. 

In spite of this trial, Valeria managed to do some exemplary hunting while they travelled, acquiring an albatross and turkey for the party, which Yuri used in an old family recipe, cooking his famous succulent albaturk.

Off in the distance to the north, as they crossed what should have been the border between Blekzen and Ustalav, they noticed a windowless pillar of black stone rising silent and still on the horizon known as the Cenotaph.  Apparently, during the reign of the whispering tyrant, the gates to the fortress had stood open, allowing all manner of elite warriors and warbeasts to pass freely through.  Since the tyrant’s defeat the gates had sealed themselves and no one had been able to re-open them.

Later that evening the group found themselves entering a tiny Ulstalavian town.  A huge monolithic structure stood about a half-mile outside the sleepy little town.  It looked like it had been gutted by a severe fire. 

The sign next to the road declared this the hamlet of Ravengrow.

A small river ran through centre of the town, splitting it in two.  The town was quiet while still managing to teem with life.  A light rain started to fall as they passed the town limits and Yuri couldn’t help but notice that most of the townsfolk seemed to be shooting them nasty looks and closing their shutters as the party rode by.

In the centre of the town they found the only tavern.  A sign hung over the door, depicting a drunken, laughing demon.

“Ah,” Valeria sighed, “this looks like a fine place to find a bed out of the rain for the night.”

Glancing around the drab little town, the rest of the party had no choice but to agree.  They entered the establishment.

As they crossed the threshold, a robust, red-nosed man threw his arms wide and exclaimed in heavily accented Taldane from behind the bar, “Ah!  Friends!  Travellers!  I am Zokar!  Welcome!  What can we do for you!”

“Food.  Rooms.”  Valeria grunted, wringing her clothes out over by the hearth.

“Yes! Come in!  Rooms good!  Meals good!  Drinks too!”  The innkeeper bawled, “This local specialty, Liquid Ghosts!  It’s good, you’ll like it!”  He babbled as he grabbed some battered tankards and began pouring pints from the only tap.  The beer was pale and tinted green. Also, it glowed.

He handed them around with good natured slaps and winks.  Every single member of the party hesitated, poking at their drinks, unwilling to be the first to try it.

“Made from real ghosts!”  The barkeep chuckled, winking at Olivine before carrying on, “You want food?  We have special:  Vampire steaks! Ha! Get it? Steaks!”

The party stared blankly, “Hey,” he shrugged, “you know where we live?  If you can’t laugh at terror... you die!”

After a beat of uncomfortable silence, Valeria elbowed him in the ribs and grinned, “I’ll have one of those vampire steaks, extra bloody if you please.”

The ruddy little man laughed heartily, “We also have corpse chowder, extra chunky for you!”

“I’ll have some of that,” The bird man replied, smirking, “I’m feeling a bit... peckish.”

The barkeep let forth a deep belly laugh and patted Magpie on the shoulder, addressing the group at large, “Zo my friends, what brings you to Ravengrow?”

“Travelling east, on a delivery errand.” Magpie replied, a secret smile in his voice.

“Ah, passing through.” He replied sagely and with a little sadness, “Didnt’ think you’d be coming here.”

“Why?” Valeria frowned.

The man shook his head, “Ever since the prison burnt down, no one comes to Ravengrow.”

“Was it that big of a tourist attraction?” She asked.

“Lots of executions,” Zokar replied, “many famous murderers and criminals...”  He shook himself, “but you’re hungry, I’ll get your food now.”

After many more unmentionable puns about the food as Zokar served them, Valeria finally returned to the point, “So, Zokar, why does no one come here anymore?”

“Most people do not see the need to travel from Ustalav into the less civilized parts of the world.” He replied seriously before brightening, “But you stay here tonight, ya?  Very reasonable prices.”  He turned to Yuri, “I’ll put your wagon and horse in the stables... You look like nice fellow, remind me of my cousin Yuri.”

Yuri’s eyes flew wide and he grinned, “That’s because I am your cousin Yuri!”

“Oh!” Zokar bawled, “And how is your mother?”

“Dead.”

“Is she undead?”

“No!”

“Good thing,” Zokar chuckled, “always have to ask here in Ustalav.”

After much friendly yelling and backslapping the barkeep continued, “Don’t worry about the locals, they are bit intimidated by strangers, but once you spend money here they warm up to you.”  He waved a hand at a huge imposing structure across the square, barely visible through the haze of rain, “That is temple of Pharasma, always good to pay your respects when travelling in Ustalav.”

From there the rest of the night digressed into the group drinking more pints of glowing beer as they listened to Zokar tell stories about the history of Ravengrove.  The town grew up around the prison, known as Harrowstone, burned down around fifty years previous, killing the warden, his wife and all of the inmates.  The general consensus in the town was that the ruins were haunted by many, many angry, unquiet ghosts, with only the warden’s spirit standing between the souls of the murderous, lunatic inmates and the rest of the world.

“Has anyone been up to the prison since the fire?” Valeria asked.

“Mostly the children of the town play up there, also the odd scholar who wants to prove/disprove ghost theories.” Zokar replied.

Magpie’s spoon suddenly seemed to leap from his hand, drop to the floor and zip to the other side of the room.  Magpie watched it go and sighed, “Can I have another spoon, please?”

Zokar frowned, “Where is spoon I gave you?”

“Over there.” Magpie grumbled, pointing to the corner where his spoon gleamed dully.

Zokar frowned, fetched a new spoon, smacked the bird between the eyes with it and handed it over.

Zokar spent the rest of the night regaling them with story after story of the horrors in town, each story trying to one up the next.  Most of the group tapped out and went to bed somewhere around the story about the one-armed werewolf who defended the virgin mother of the count’s illegitimate child from an entire horde of banshees.

The next morning the group came down to a breakfast of wolf-balls, eggs sunny side up and black coffee.  As they ate, a dishevelled woman pushed her way into the common room, bee-lining to Zokar where she began to speak and weep at the same time.

Yuri tuned his ears, catching but a few words of the conversation, namely ‘Isabelle’ and ‘missing’.

Zokar’s face took on a grim expression and he shook his head as they continued to converse, denying having seen her.

The woman wept harder, looking outright distraught.

Yuri, thrilled by the sight of an attractive woman other than Valeria, approached them.

“Oh, Yuri my cousin, this is Marta, she runs the general store with her husband.”  Zokar explained, giving him a pointed look that told him plainly to keep it in his pants.

“Hey, I told you, thanks to that cleric, I’m harmless.” Yuri retorted.

“Don’t give me that, I know you... I raised you.” Zokar snorted.

Yuri ignored him and smiled at the woman. She looked him up and down once, “It’s personal matter, one of my girls, Isabelle, has been missing all night.  When people go missing around here they don’t usually come back.”

“Where was she last seen?” He asked, “How old was she?”

“Fourteen, and some other villagers say their children are missing too.”

Magpie tried to move towards them, but stumbled over a random stool.

Yuri tried another smile on the woman, “Are you sure I cannot be of help?”

She sighed, “Well, anything you could do we would appreciate.”

Yuri frowned, “Did she like to play near the prison.”

“We told them not to go, but they are children.”  She shrugged.

“What about the other children, do their parents know where they’ve gone?” Valeria asked.

The woman shook her head, “Not really.”

“We will help you find them.” Yuri promised gravely.

A brief check around town revealed that four children were missing: Isabelle, a slender blonde, Rorik, a portly red-headed boy, Wendell, a thin pale boy, and Gerty, a plain, dark-haired girl.

Valeria set to tracking at once, scouring around the edges of the village looking for signs of the children while Magpie and Yuri made inquiries, quickly discovering that the group of children had gone to spend the night in the haunted remains of Harrowstone.

Armed with that knowledge it was much easier to find their tracks.

As the group made ready to head out Zokar stopped them, “Hold on, are you really going to Harrowstone?” He asked.

“Yes.”  Yuri replied.

“It... It really is haunted.”  The inn-keeper said, “Maybe you should see the priests first; stock up on holy supplies before going?”

“Oh yeah... good idea.” Davros agreed.

So they headed for the temple of Pharasma first, Akura grumbling some rather blasphemous words in the background the whole time.

The church of Pharasma was a very well-kept building, probably the best-kept in town, boasting plenty of stained glass.  The group was met at the door by an ancient priest who introduced himself as Voron Grimboro.

“What brings you to the most holy house of the lady of the graves?” He asked somberly, obviously deadly serious about what he did for a living.

“We’re heading to the prison to search for the town’s missing children,” Akura explained, “we would like Pharasma’s help and blessing before we go.”

“You are entering the prison?” The priest asked, gaze settling briefly on Akura, “If you are truly here to help the town then Pharasma gives her blessing, these are spirals of Pharasma,” He offered a handful of swirling medallions.

Akura took them and bowed, handing them out to the group.

“We also have a few potions and oils if you need... as well as vials of holy water.”  The priest offered.

The party wasted no time stocking up on stuff they might need.

Once they were done they headed out towards the tower, trudging through the miserable drizzle.

On top of a barren hill south of the city sat the walled complex.  To the southeast the wall had long ago collapsed into a pool of water.  Inside the walls stood a massive two-story stone structure, looming evilly out of the mist.

An old wood and metal gate sagged between a pair of stone guard towers hanging wide open.  Valeria followed the children’s footprints through the open gate, shivering uncontrollably as she passed the threshold.  The rest of the group followed her in, experiencing nothing.

A small brick house, its wooden roof sagging ominously, stood in the courtyard between the wall and the main structure.  The tracks led to the main building.

The group peeked through the windows of the warden’s house first, but it looked like any disturbance would cause the place to collapse.

“It’s not worth going in, there’s nothing in there.” Magpie stated surely, kicking the structure and walking away.  A good section of the wall fell, landing where the bird man had just been standing.

 With a disappointed little sigh Valeria led the way through the main doors of the ominous, two story stone structure, ignoring the missing roof sections, barred windows and evil gargoyles.

The first room was clearly once a large hall with a smaller room on either side.  The beams overhead sagged quite a bit.  The oaken doors on the other side of the room were in eerily good shape, almost as though something supernatural were holding them together.

Magpie steeled his courage and pushed open the doors, following the children’s footprints. 

And into the belly of the beast they went.