Chapter 16

In which Frelik swears off all liquids... and then a snake fell on them

After a successful day of buying finery and various other things, the group returned to the mansion, Frelik with his noble red fox fur cloak, Valeria and Cecilia with their dresses, Akura with new vestments, Magpie with a new, deep blue robe, Olivine with a sleekly tailored, classy dress and Yuri’s single concession to fashion: a golden bowtie purchased for him by the Magpie.

Magpie, returning first, scoured the house, losing several hours to eating salted jerky in the basement.  As he came back up the stairs, Barnsworth, the elderly Halfling butler met him at the top, “May I help you, sir?”

“No... no I’m fine.” Magpie grinned.

“Hm.”  The dour little man nodded, “Very well then.”  He wandered off again.

Once the butler was out of sight, the bird-man continued on his search of the house, moving on to the upper hall.  Under the bed in the guest room he found a weathered leather scrapbook detailing Cecilia’s youthful adventures.

In Cecilia’s room he found a pile of tearstained letters from her husband, but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary, just fine gowns, lacy underthings and a box full of flashy gold jewelry.

He eyed the jewelry, reaching for it.  With a grumble Akura marched into the room, grabbed the Magpie by the scruff of the neck and dragged him out in a shower of jewels, gold and caws.

“You!  Stay out of this room or I will drop kick your face!”  Akura shouted as the rest of the group came through the front door.

Akura stormed back down the stairs and straight out the front door as the Magpie continued on his search, moving up into the attic.  There he came face to face with the creepy, cymbal wielding monkey.  He poked it a couple of times.  Nothing happened.

He moved on, finding a magical rapier and darkwood buckler.  And a less dusty crate of ridiculously cute modern clothes sized for an eight to ten year old boy.

Shortly before six oclock, lady Dromdel made her way down to the main floor in her elevator.  Valeria managed to smuggle in pistols into dinner, while Magpie brought some daggers, and Frelik wore his sword in a ceremonial fashion. 

The girls and the rest of the guests arrived shortly after six.  Barnsworth was pleased to introduce Jebediah Stewardsfield; a greasy middle aged man who identified himself as the prime banker in town.  An older woman, Nina Gusenholdt, arrived accompanied by her slightly slow, upperclass twit nephew, Ned who stared at Magpie for a long moment before exclaiming, “You’re a birdman!” He then turned to Frelik, “And you’re not from these parts.”  The two men gave him blank stares and he clapped his hands, “This is gonna be a great party, what?”

Lady Dromdel and Lady Gusenholdt filled the time before dinner by engaging in some light conversation about the dreadful weather they’d been having, the state of their grounds and the terribly inconvenient murders.

“So what about these murders I’ve been hearing so much about?” Valeria asked Ned, twirling her hair on her finger.

“Oh yes, dreadfully smashing stuff to read about!  Papers dubbed him Swanny Todd.”  Ned bubbled, clapping his hands, “Several other nobs got their throats slashed right good.  In fact, Cecilia’s husband was the first.”  He looked faintly appalled as he met Cecilia’s eyes.  He tittered nervously, “Oh, there were many others that followed, what?  Wasn’t like he was the only target.  But ah, yes, crimson smiles across their throats and they arrested a little fella, couldn’t be more than three, four feet tall.  Just like...”  He waved Barnsworth over, “Just like this fellow, though it couldn’t have been him, he’s so old!”

“And what about the weather?”  Valeria asked, interrupting pointedly to save Cecilia some of her obvious embarrassment.

Ned paused for a moment, then laughed, “Oh yes, do forgive me, I sometimes get carried away.  Yes, dreadful weather, what?”

“Isn’t it always drizzling here?”  Valeria asked.

“No.  Sometimes there’s lighting.”  Ned replied, just as a huge crash of lighting sounded from outside.

Lady Dromdel took over the conversation again, “Cecilia, I believe you’ve met Jebediah?”  The red-faced banker nodded, “A man like Jebediah never has to worry about his means.”

“Yes.”  Jebediah rumbled, making eyes at the girl, “I never need to worry about financial security.”

After some quick whispering between Valeria and Magpie, Valeria leaned towards the banker, making sure to display her cleavage as she said, “So... you’re into money, hmm?  That’s so... hot.”

Once the banker was suitably distracted by the gunslinger, Magpie had a decent chance to chat with Cecilia.  Which caused much dismay for Lady Dromdel and much relief for Cecilia.

At one point Magpie accidentally knocked his knife off the table and it skittered across the floor to twang into the wall next to Barnsworth who simply rolled his eyes and brought the bird man another one.

Somewhere around the dessert course, Baron, Lady Dromdel’s lapdog leapt off her lap and bolted for the window, yapping wildly and running in circles.  In addition to the yapping, a faint howling could be heard from outside.  Soon Sashie, Lady Dromdel’s mastiff, could be heard baying from upstairs.

Akura stood, moving to the window and peering out as the Magpie excused himself, heading outside.  Once outside, it sounded to Magpie that the howling was coming from inside the house; from down below.

Magpie came back inside and headed for the basement.  Akura instructed Frelik to stay and protect the dinner party while he followed the Magpie downstairs.  The other guests seemed pretty shaken by the noise.

Finding nothing obvious in the basement, the two dashed upstairs to get Sashie but the door to the room was locked.

The Magpie darted back downstairs, “I’m very sorry Lady Dromdel, but I’m afraid we need access to your quarters, may I have your key?”

“Very well.”  The Lady replied, “I will meet you up there.”

Once Lady Dromdel arrived on the upper floor she shushed Sashie and opened the door for them.  Magpie moved into the bedroom, looking around, “Lady Dromdel,” he said, “I hate to be insensitive and ask this, but do you have any magical items in your vanity?”

“Yes.”  The old woman replied, “I have some medications to help with my strength these days, I am not as young as I used to be.”

Akura listened at the window and heard the howling again, but it seemed to be much more clear from the elevator shaft.

“Does your elevator only travel between this floor and the main floor, or can it go to the basement?”  Akura asked.

“Only between these floors.” The lady replied, but the reply rang with untruth.

“I see.” Akura frowned, “Well, it must just have been some howling off in the hills, I suppose.  Please, feel free to return to your guests.”

The old lady eyed them suspiciously, “Very well.  I’ll meet you back downstairs.”

Back on the main floor the old lady announced, “I’m afraid all this excitement has been too much for my aging nerves, Ned, you’ll see your aunt home?  Jebediah, a pleasure, as always.... Cecilia, say goodbye to Jebediah.”

Jebediah slipped his card into Valeria’s bosom, “You should come by and see me sometime, my dear, I have some... investments we should discuss.”

“Oh really, Jebediah, get out of my house!”  Lady Dromdel snapped.

“Mother, are you all right?”  Cecilia asked, seeming worried.

“Yes, yes.”  Her mother replied, “I’m just a little shaken from the dogs and whatnot.”  She got back into the elevator and went upstairs.

“I’m so sorry about my mother.”  Cecilia murmured, “I could use some fresh air, if there is someone who would like to escort me?”

Magpie and Valeria escorted the girl out.  Akura and Frelik moved over to the elevator, attempting to open the door.  With a little jimmying, Frelik managed to get it open and they look inside.  About ten feet above they could see the bottom of the elevator floor.  Olivine stepped up to the opening, casting some dancing lights and sending them down the tunnel.  The shaft went thirty or forty feet into the ground; well past the basement... and no one remembered seeing an elevator exit in the basement.

Outside, Magpie asked Cecilia about the mysterious box of modern boy’s clothes, but she seemed to know very little.

Once the three had returned inside, Akura told them what they’d discovered about the elevator shaft.

“How old is the elevator?” Valeria asked.

“It was installed about ten years ago when mother started having her health problems.” Cecilia replied, “Though Mother had some men in to service it about a year ago.”

“Did anything else odd happen a year ago?”  Akura pressed.

Cecilia frowned, “Now that you mention it, Father was away on a hunting trip about a year ago and sent something back in a crate, but I have no idea whatever happened to it.”

An uncomfortable look passed between the party.

“Lady Cecilia, I suggest you take Davros here and lock yourself in your room.”  Magpie said.

“If you think that’s best.” The girl murmured.

Once the group was back in their adventuring gear and the girl was safely in bed Akura went first down the shaft and was immediately assailed by the stench of wet animal.  He signalled the Magpie to come next, then Frelik, Valeria and Olivine.

By the light of the sunrod Akura had dropped, they could see a partially hewn stone room.  There were stone faces carved into the walls, the last two of which still seemed to be fleshy.  The room was filled with straw palleting, a rough-hewn table and a delicate tea set.

In the corner was a stout, dog-like creature with a long whipping tail with a grasping claw at the end.  It was growling.

“Anytime guys.”  Akura whispered back up the shaft.

Ever impatient, Frelik pushed past the Magpie, knocking the bird-man down the shaft and sending the barbarian tumbling after him.

Olivine shimmied carefully down the rope, with Valeria successfully scooting past.

Akura and the creature swung at eachother, but they both missed.

“That’s an ahuizotl,” Magpie shouted, “They’re tenacious grapplers from the Mwangi Expanse... they like to kill and eat people.  They’re dicks.”

Akura tumbled past the thing, taking damage while Frelik charged it and got struck by its lashing tail before striking it with a solid hit.

Valeria pulled out her gun and fired, heedless of the noise.

Magpie attempted to heal Frelik while Akura scored a solid one-two hit.

Frelik pulled out his hand axe and finished the creature with flourish, reducing it to a steaming pile of badly hacked meat.

Chapter 15

In which dinosaur flatulence is discussed at length and it is discovered that it is not truly a D&D session until Monty Python is quoted, or Owlbears make an appearance.

Recovering from their brave, tactical advance to the rear in the face of certain ghosts, the group returned to the town with the children, repairing back to Yuri’s cousin-adoptive-father’s tavern, the Laughing Demon.  They found the parents holding vigil at the pub – and drinking their faces off.

Frelik hoisted a glass and drowned it, swaying and proclaiming that he was getting hammered off the gross water.

Grateful for the safe return of their offspring, mothers whisked their children off to bed while the fathers stuck around to hear the party’s war stories.  The group is cheerfully informed that their tab is covered for the night, so the group drinks as much as they can.  Frelik tapped out early, having downed an entire bottle of potato vodka, and passed out on the table.  Magpie went down next, which led Akura, who was still sober, to arrange the two in a recovery-position sixty-nine just for the fun of it.

The next morning, somewhat the worse for wear, the group gathered in the tavern.  Yuri’s cousin frowned as he served them breakfast, “So... where are you folks headed?”

They explained that they are headed to Nerosyan.  Zokar advises that they follow the river to Chastel.  From there they can either follow the river or take a risk and strike off across the fields to Dravod Knock, just on the Numerian side of the border.  The group thanked him for the advice and took their leave amidst many tearful goodbyes.

The grateful parents met the party on the edge of town, offering baskets of food and care packages, totalling enough food for a week, as well as a wand of cure moderate wounds.

The rest of that day passed uneventfully, as did the camp that night.

The next day, however, was not quite so quiet.  Just after lunch, as they set out along the river again, a pair of huge, hulking, feathered creatures loomed up, blocking the party’s path.

Akura immediately took to the trees, stealthing along.  Davros shrieked like a girl and dropped off the back of his horse to cower behind it.

Valeria rode forward and fired, nailing one of the creatures in the face.  It growled then hooted a little bit.  The group surmised that these feathered, furry creatures must be owlbears.

The creatures advanced on the group.

Frelik cried out, leaping off the back of his horse and scrambling up a nearby tower ruin.  Akura emerged from the woods, whirling through a heel-down kick and nailing the owlbear who had been shot.

Davros, with a low grumble, moved through the wall of horseflesh before him to hurl a bomb at the same one Akura had kicked.  That owlbear turned, owlbear-hugging Akura while the other grappled Davros.

Valeria shrieked and fired at the same creature as before, causing it to collapse and release Akura.

Frelik, in his infinite wisdom, did a backward roll and attempted to leap off the tower sword first, missing horribly and landing at the creature’s feet with a hollered “Shiiiiiit!”

Davros, trying to break the owlbear hug, managed to enrage the creature and get himself attacked once again, calling for help.

Valeria, making a foolish choice, fired at the grappling pair, narrowly missing Davros and striking the creature for minor damage.  Frelik advanced on the creature, but it snapped its beak at him, sending him into a very ineffectual rage.

Akura slammed a hard fist into the creature’s knee, but missed with his uppercut as the creature fell.

Davros went limp in the owlbear’s arms, so the creature turned his vicious attention on Akura.  While it was distracted, Valeria fired at the creature, putting a bullet between its eyes.

Magpie rushed to Davros’ assistance, helping him recover so he could heal the rest of the party.

Frelik, meanwhile, carved some buffalo style owlbear wings out of the carcasses.

The next few days passed uneventfully, allowing the party to reach Chastel in peace.

Valeria, riding into town first, declared, “Where is the tavern, peasants!  I have not had a drink since Ravengrow!”

Avoiding the two-storey hooker, they pressed on to the well-lit two story building that seemed to be a tavern.  A battered sign of a one-legged sheep hung over the door.  The common room was bustling with activity, so much so that the party was forced to take their libations standing at the bar.

Akura inquired about rooms but the innkeeper, making his way over to them, replied, “Sorry, but all my rooms are full with the spring festival.”

As the party discussed potential accommodations with the rotund man, a well-dressed woman approached the group timidly, seeming a little put off by them, but clearly determined to speak with them.

With a quiet squawk of ‘mine’ Magpie walked over to the woman, “Good evening, you seem to be...”

“Oh, hello, I... this might seem forward, but we get so few visitors in town.... my name is Cecilia.  I couldn’t help overhearing your troubles.”

“Yes, we are looking for a place to stay.”

“You should come stay with me and my mother.”

“Oh good, is there anything we can do in exchange for your hospitality?” Magpie offered.  Her eyes lit up but Magpie pressed on, “Anything I can do?”

She shut her mouth and blushed.

“Sorry,” Magpie muttered, “It has been so long since I’ve seen such a beautiful woman.”

Akura sighed and invited the woman to join them.

“Yes, actually we’ve had a bit of trouble in town,” she murmured, “and you seem like a.... well-armed crew.”

“What kind of troubles,” Valeria demanded in a loud, drunken voice, “Is it the kind involving death, or un-death?”

With a dirty glance at Valeria the woman said, “Perhaps we should take this discussion somewhere quieter, and more private.”

She led the group, wagon and all, to a fair-sized estate at the edge of town called Dromdel Manor glancing around nervously though they don’t seem to be followed.

As they entered a street called Swan street, Cecilia began telling the group about the murders; bodies appearing and people disappearing.  The townsfolk had eventually managed to track down a deranged Halfling called Swanny Todd and accuse him of murder but the Halfling escaped on the way to the gallows and was now on the loose again. 

Tears in her eyes, she told them that one of Swanny Todd’s first victims was her young husband, Michael.  Fearing for her own life, she asks only for protection for a few nights in return for a place to stay.

“It has been only two nights since he escaped,” she explained, “but there have been no more murders to date.  All of his victims were nobles.”  When asked about her family, she explained that the house belonged to her family and her husband had married into it.  Her father was out hunting and she hoped he would be back soon, given the recent troubles.

The inside of the manor was decorated in greens and browns; all colours and styles long-since out of fashion.  As Cecilia opened the door, an elderly Halfling servant appeared.

“M’lady?”  he drawled.

“Ah, Barnsworth, these are our guests, aren’t they wonderful?”

“Yes, m’lady, I’m sure that your mother will be pleased.”

“Oh, yes, mother.”

The servant showed them into an elegant sitting room with some aged furniture and a bar in one corner.

“Please, feel free to make yourselves a drink.”  She offered.

Still infernally thirsty, Frelik chugged a bottle of what he thought was water.  It wasn’t.  He passed out.  Again. 

Akura dragged him outside and dumped him head-first into a rain barrel.

Fifteen minutes later the elderly Halfling returned with a plate of slices of boar, cheese and bread.

Cecilia brought in an elderly woman in a wheelchair, “Please, let me introduce my mother, the lady Oraluna Dromdel.”

The elderly woman eyed them with displeasure, stroking the tiny, rat-sized dog in her lap.  A mastiff was chained to her chair.  “Yes, my daughter says you’ll be staying with us...”  The old woman murmured, seeming faintly disgruntled, “Well, that will be delightful.”

“Well, we don’t want to be any trouble.”  Valeria smiled.

“Oh, no, it’s no trouble.”  The woman replied, “How long are you staying?  A few days?  You do have... clothing?” She eyed the party’s shabby attire.

“We have been on the road for quite some time...”  Akura shrugged, “But yes, we do have nice clothes.”

“Very well, I am having a dinner party tomorrow night.  You are welcome to attend.”  Lady Dromdel said.

Something about that statement sent Magpie and Valeria into a shouting match, at which point Lady Dromdel excused herself for the evening.

Valeria eyed Cecilia in an effort to determine if they were the same size, but Magpie misinterpreted and hissed at her, “By the gods, if you do anything with her I will make you into a new saddlebag for my weapons.”

“So, where are we sleeping tonight?”  Valeria asked Cecilia, eyeing the Magpie now, “Perhaps one of us should stay close to you just in case.”

The girl nodded, “Of course.  You may stay in my room, Valeria.”

Valeria winked overtly at the Magpie as Cecilia led her up to her room.

Claiming various rooms, the group bedded down for the night – except for Akura, who felt the need to explore. 

To the left from the entry way was the salon, to the right were the offices of lord Dromdel.  The foyer then led into the dining room where a pulley and rope operated elevator existed to move lady Dromdel between floors.  Directly off the dining room was the living room, and beyond that a kitchen, the butler’s quarters and a set of stairs that led up to the second floor where Cecilia and Lady Dromdel had their rooms, as well as a guest room.

The basement consisted mostly of the usual linens and foods which needed to be kept cool.

Akura searched the house, ensuring that all the doors and windows are locked.  In the attic, in a back room, he found a worn and frayed cymbal-wielding monkey which seemed to be staring at him from across the room.  He backed away and left it in peace.

Magpie, meanwhile, searched the basement but found nothing out of the ordinary.

Yuri took a quick look around the stables, but, while they seemed to still be in use, there were no animals present but the party’s own.

Partway through the night, the group was disturbed by the baying of a hound and the yapping of a tiny dog from upstairs, but it ended abruptly.

Akura crept up to the second floor, listening at Lady Dromdel’s door.  He heard the lady trying to quiet the animals.  “My lady,” he called, tapping at the door, “Is everything all right?”

She made her way to the door, “Yes, yes, they’re all right.  Some nights they have problems; other animals in the night....  They’ll quiet down.”

Sensing that she was hiding something, Akura asked politely if there was anything he could do before excusing himself and wishing her a good night.  Unsatisfied by her answer, he lingered a few moments outside of her door, listening for anything strange, but heard nothing.

The next morning dawned to the smell of coffee, eggs and bacon.

“What happened last night?”  Frelik groaned.

“Let’s just say that clear liquids aren’t always water.”  Akura smirked. 

Once the barbarian had recovered from his stupor, Akura dragged him outside to study the ground underneath the old lady’s window to see if someone had visited the old lady’s room during the night.

Valeria suggested shopping, exciting Cecilia who begged her mother to allow for the purchase of new clothes.

The elderly woman heaved a heavy sigh, “Well, I suppose.  There isn’t much to be seen in that town, but I suppose you may have a new dress made.”  She turned to Valeria, “Do I need to pay for yours too?”

“Oh, no.”  Valeria assured her.

“Very well.  Then I assume after lunch will be acceptable?”

Both girls nodded.

On the way into town Akura took the chance to ask Cecilia about the creepy monkey he’d found staring at him in the attic the night before, but her answer was less than satisfactory as she simply shrugged and said, “I don’t know, there are many old toys from my childhood, and even some leftover from my mother’s childhood.”