Chapter 8

Wherein the party can’t seem to stop wetting themselves

Having successfully defeated the angry mushroom, the group decided to celebrate by peeing in a corner... until someone pointed out that the room was round. So they decided not to pee at all. Ever. Again. Except for Yuri, who missed the memo and peed down the well as the monk opened the door on the other side of the round room from where they’d entered.

Beyond the door another narrow corridor extended fifteen feet ahead, ending in another door which opened onto a spiral staircase which went up.

“Okay guys,” Frelik muttered, “nobody said anything about stairs. Can we go back and wait out the storm yet?”

Davros sighed and headed for the stairs but Reytard stopped him, “Perhaps we should clear out this level first and prevent anything coming up on us from… behind?” He winked.

After a moment’s contemplation Davros rolled his eyes and nodded, “Fine, let’s check the rest of this level first.”

They returned to the statue of the Runelord of Envy and headed down the next narrow corridor to their left. There they found another small, oddly shaped room with a dais and altar against the left-hand wall. As Reytard and Frelik approached the opening to the room, they could hear a high-pitched, violent discussion rising from within; voices chittering as though they were arguing about something.

Failing in their attempt to sneak, Frelik, Reytard and Cyrano rounded the corner into the room to find five goblins who had leapt to their feet, scattering dice as they took up their dog slicers and horse choppers. A crude jack-o-lantern sat on the altar bearing the barely recognizable face of a goblin.

The nearest goblin levelled a polearm at Reytard and yelled, “Hey! Who are you!”

Before Reytard could act on whatever foolish plan he’d come up with Davros stepped into the room and said in goblin, “We’re sheltering from the cinderstorm. What are you doing in here?”

The goblins made interested noises and looked him up and down, “We were sent here to guard for our master.”

“What are you guarding?” Davros asked.

One of the goblins said, “We’re protecting our master who is – “

Another goblin clapped a hand across the first one’s mouth, “Don’t tell them our master’s in the next room!”

“Can we speak with your master?” Davros sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Our master is great and powerful. His name is Orpheus.”

Davros pointed to his goblin-snake tie, “Does he look like this.”

Upon seeing the tie the goblins exchanged worried glances and shifted back and forth uncomfortably.

Magpie waved his hands, “It’s not what you think, it’s an illusion.”

They didn’t seem to believe him, instead addressing Davros, “Why you make that? Why you wear that?”

“Because we’re devout worshippers.” Davros lied, “And this is my homage.”

Without so much as a moment’s hesitation the goblin’s nodded in unison, “Oooh.”

“So can we see the great and powerful Orpheus?” Davros asked.

“Yes, of course, he will be pleased.” A goblin nodded, banging on the door.

A distant voice called out, “What?”

“There’s someone to see the master!”

“What?”

“The master!”

“What?”

“Let us in!”

The door swung open a crack and a goblin head popped out, “What?”

“People to see the master.”

“Hey master! People!” The interior goblin shouted over his shoulder as he pulled the door open.

The group entered a huge room which resembled nothing more than an underground cathedral with spiky runes on the walls and polished skulls balanced on spikes. On the main level was a round pool, the far end of the room was a raised dais with a triangle-shaped pool filled with some sort of bubbling liquid which burbled quietly. Next to it stood a goblin-snake wearing a gold crown and a red velvet cape, gold rings adorning its tail - Orpheus. A sinspawn stood on the dais across the pool from Orpheus.

The room seemed to be mostly dedicated to Lamashtuu, the runes on the walls looking mostly like they were dedicated to transforming creatures into other creatures.

As the group entered the snake addressed them in common, “Well now mortals, welcome to Orpheus’ domain. Have you brought tribute?”

“Yes.“ Frelik muttered, “I’ve brought ‘gifts’.”

“Yes, we’ve brought tribute.” Davros nodded.

“Hmm. That is wise.” The snake muttered, as the sinspawn eyed the group strangely. “One of you will bring forward what you offer me and set it at the base of my dais.”

Frelik pushed his way to the front, reverently approaching the dais, before drawing his scimitar at the last second and swinging it at the sinspawn and missing.

“Horror and betrayal!” Shrieked the goblin snake, “Kill them! Kill them all!”

A shot rang out from the hall in response, followed by a goblin scream and a wet thump.

Davros hurled a sticky bomb, successfully nicking both the snake and the sinspawn.

Reytard whirled and attacked the goblins behind him, too angry and confused to deal with the snake-thing.

The snake backed off and hissed, his eyes blazing red before a fan-shaped blast of flame burst from them, raking the party.

Davros caught the brunt of the flame attack, which even managed to set his armor on fire, leaving him looking a bit like used-up charcoal.

Olivine, never one to be outdone, responded with her own fan of flame, catching the two goblins standing in the doorway - who promptly darted forward into the room to attack the Halfling, too terrified of Olivine’s dog to take their frustrations out on her.

The sinspawn landed a solid bite on Frelik’s arm, but otherwise couldn’t seem to get through the barbarian’s defenses.

Valeria loaded another bullet, blowing the head of one of the goblins into a fine red mist.

Davros, meanwhile, hurled a bomb at his own feet for no apparent reason, gave up, and drew his mace.

Reytard managed to put down another goblin as the goblin-snake backed off and lashed at Davros, landing a solid bite and yelling, “You’ve been poisoned, my friend, POISONED!!”

Davros simply looked down at his tie then back up at his opponent, “Funny, that’s what he said too.”

One of the goblins shrieked and swung at Reytard, but Magpie got his katana underneath the weapon, snapping it in twain. With another shriek the creature began looking around for a way out.

Waving his tie and making mocking noises about being poisonous Davros swung his mace at the snake, missing horribly due to all his taunting. With another mutter, Orpheus backed off and blinked, muttering something dire sounding before a blast of flame once again burst from his face.

After a few more exchanges Frelik finally managed to put down the sinspawn as Reytard killed the last goblin.

Upon seeing all of his subjects dead or unconscious, Orpheus shrieked, “No! My empire!” Plonking off the dais and lasering people with his gaze he continued, “Die, accursed fools, die!”

Valeria loaded another bullet and fired at the ‘emperor’, her bullet striking the snake in the head and blasting it backwards, leaving the tiny gold crown to hover momentarily in the air before dropping to the ground with a rattle.

Chapter 7

In which we learn that it’s not a real session until Frelik goes down (in combat, people... combat)

Day three dawned and closed with little of note happening, other than the fact that they advanced farther... oh, and of course Yuri managed to write another one of his many and very delightful epic ballads.

On the fourth day, about mid-afternoon as the group approached a water feature - which bore a striking resemblance to one they’d seen before – a giant beetle burst forth from the sand chittering angrily as it positioned itself to attack.

With lightning quick reflexes and a disgusted cry of, “Burn you ugly thing!”  the gnome spurred her dog forward, levelling her hands as a blast of flame burst from them, singeing the beetle slightly but doing very little else.  Olivine looked disappointed, “Aww.  It’s not on fire.”

Akura dismounted with a muttered command of “Stay” to his horse and began to move around the rear of the bug.

Davros hurled a bomb, entangling the creature as Frelik, inspired by Akura’s performance, leapt of his own horse, waved his arms around over his head and shouted, “Stay!” 

With a terrified whinny the horse turned and bolted.

“Damn.”  The barbarian muttered before charging into combat.

Reytard levelled his lance and charged as well, thrusting the tip deep within the beast just next to its eye.  With a shriek the beast lashed out at Frelik in retaliation, slicing the barbarian with its vicious mandibles.

Olivine hurled some of her jelly-like electric green acid at the thing, but again did very little damage, though it did draw the bug’s attention her way.  Seeing his opportunity, Akura leapt on the thing from behind, slamming a fist into its carapace as Davros hurled another bomb.  With a flash the bug disintegrated.

Threat averted, Reytard sighed heavily and rode out after the barbarian’s horse, chasing it back and forth through the group until he eventually got bored enough to calm the creature down and return it to Frelik so they could continue to travel.

That evening, the barbarian roasted the beetle over an open fire and feasted on its tender insides as the rest of the party ate their rations and resisted the urge to vomit.

Mid morning on the fifth day, as they passed a small ruin with a pair of faceless, ancient Thasillonian statues standing guard, something large, low and shiny burst from behind one of the statues, screeching.

“A scorpion!”  Reytard yelled, “A big one!”

Davros, who had been toying with one of his many bombs reacted quickest by hurling the small object in his hand at the scorpion, singeing the carapace and sticking the thing to the ground.

“Time to make friends!” Reytard shouted with mad glee, spurring his wolf forward and charging gloriously with his lance – only to have the tip glance the creature’s hard outer shell.

Akura charged next, but missed as Frelik leapt violently from his horse again, somehow managing to get it to stay put this time, in spite of the cavalier’s loud and obvious sigh.  Frelik struck the creature solidly and it screamed with an almost human shriek.

Olivine advanced and lifted her hands, spraying the thing with a line of electric green goo which hissed as it ate away at the scorpion’s carapace.  With another shriek the creature lashed out at Reytard, grappling the Halfling in one of its claws.

Davros hurled a bomb, missing horrendously for the first time since Yuri had met him.

Taking care of his own business, Reytard used his one free hand to swing his sword at the creature that was trying to get him in position to sting him with its tail as his wolf, Cyrano, snarled and chomped at it.

“I’ll save you, Reytard!”  Akura shouted, whirling into a flurry of fists and feet as he clobbered the thing into submission, surprising everyone when he managed to actually kill it.

With a demented grin, the barbarian cut the claws off the creature and carried them until camp, boiling them in one of Yuri’s giant pots for dinner.  Curiosity finally got the better of Yuri and he shared in Frelik’s exotic meat feast as they kept watch together (since both their partners were still lying, green and vomiting, in the back of Yuri’s wagon after consuming Frelik’s earlier cat-steaks).

As they ate they noticed nothing of interest.  Unfortunately, as it turned out, that wasn’t because things were safe but simply because they weren’t paying close enough attention - as they realized when a pair of gargoyles dropped out of the sky, one of them scoring a hit across Frelik’s face before the barbarian had time to react.

Kicking as many people awake as he could manage, Yuri retreated to his wagon, determined to guard his prized possession (as well as the supplies and two sick party members).

Doing a credible kip-up, Akura went from sleeping to charging in the blink of an eye.  He neared one of the creatures and struck, only to have his blow bounce off its stony hide.

Reytard mounted his wolf, who was instantly alert being the well-trained battle mount that he was, and charged the creatures.  He hit, but it didn’t seem to do much damage... seeing as how magic was needed to pierce their hard skin.

One of the gargoyles struck out at the barbarian again, who went down with a shriek, the sound waking Olivine.

Akura hurled a flask at the gargoyles, splashing the creatures with a shower of magical flame as Olivine positioned herself, lifted her hands and unleashed a blast of rippling fire, blasting the creatures.

Frelik, looked a little grey, but mercifully didn’t seem to bleeding out so Akura threw another flask of sparkling flame at the creature - followed immediately by another blast of fire from the gnome who scored a solid hit.

Planting his feet, Reytard proved his less than stellar cognitive skills by taunting the gargoyles before him - who were more than happy to oblige his challenge by smacking him in the face.

Finally waking up, Davros hurled a bomb at them, burning them soundly and sticking them solidly to the sand.  They shrieked in frustration.

Much to everyone’s surprise, Valeria chose that moment to leap out of the back of the wagon with a savage war-cry, looking much healthier than she had for days as she drew her guns and charged.  Unfortunately she was slightly less than effective.

Olivine, on the other hand, blasted them with another column of fire, doing a very effective bit of damage as Davros hurled another glue-bomb at the creatures, finally finishing one of them off.

The remaining creature began to panic.  Akura grabbed the magical spear from Olivine and stabbed the creature.  It shrieked and struggled harder against the glue from Davros’ bomb.

Valeria levelled her pistol and attempted to fire but at the last second something tiny and winged resembling a desert bee flew up her muzzle and the gun merely clicked, failing to do anything.

Olivine hurled some of her electric green goo and the remaining creature’s skin hissed as it burned.

With a hideous shriek the creature broke free of the gluey mass and attacked the monk but Davros’ next bomb finished it off, leaving the two gargoyles very well cooked and quite dead.  Frelik immediately tried to find some part of the gargoyles to eat - until Davros stopped him.

The next two days – six and seven - passed uneventfully, Frelik and Valeria successfully hunting meat to help feed the party.

On day eight, as they rode hard across the pass, they sensed a telltale shift in the winds which heralded an ember storm; a giant maelstrom of flame that would sweep across the cinderlands, obliterating any life foolish or unfortunate enough to be caught in the open.  Trying not to panic, the party rode hard until they came upon some shelter in the form of a small complex of caves, the first of which was large enough to house Yuri’s wagon and all the horses safely.

From the first cave they could see that there were a series of smaller caves leading back off the first.  Knowing that the horses and goods were safe, the group decided to wait out the firestorm by exploring.

Olivine waved her hands and four orbs of light sprang to life above the group, lighting their way.  As they stepped around the first corner, a creature that looked remarkably like the lust sin-spawn they’d face in the ossuary moved from the shadows to block their path, its jaw opening and shifting to reveal a maw much bigger than its face.

Akura hurled his final vial of sparkling alchemist’s fire at it.

Valeria fired off a shot, cracking the creature in the shoulder as Frelik charged in behind the bullet, slicing the thing open from collarbone to crotch with his blade.

Investigating the spot where the creature had been standing, Frelik discovered an opening into another cavern.  The next room was dominated by a statue of a heavy-set woman holding a mirror and a halberd.  It looked much like one of the statues from the runelord room in the ossuary; the runelord of envy.  Behind it and to its left were rough-hewn hallways.  To the statue’s right was a dead end.  The halberd in the statue’s hand looked real and very valuable.  Frelik yanked it out of the statue’s hand and handed it back to Yuri to hold.

Frelik pressed on down the narrow hallway behind the statue on his own, finding a door at the end which he cautiously pushed open.  Inisde he found a small, round room with a pool of water in the centre.   The floor was covered in blood and a single goblin corpse lay sprawled on the floor.  On the opposite side of the pool a mushroom-like creature shifted and growled.

Akura approached Frelik’s back just as the barbarian shut the door and replaced the latch saying, “There’s a crazy mushroom thing in there.  And I know a thing or two about mushrooms; you don’t want to eat them if you don’t know what they are.”

“What’s going on down there?”  Valeria shouted from the mouth of the hall.

Frelik shouted back, “There’s a fucked-up mushroom thing in there.”

“Sounds like a Violet Fungus.”  Davros called back, though how he knew that from what little information he’d been given was a mystery to Yuri, “Draw it out into the hallway and we’ll kill it.”

Without hesitation the monk darted back down the hall as the barbarian opened the door before following, taunting the creature to chase him.

It obliged, lurching half-way down the hall into a flurry of ranged attacks and bombs, most of which blew chunks off of it.

“Go ahead guys,” Davros shouted, “It’s tangled!”

On that news Akura darted past the mushroom and attacked it from behind as Frelik charged it from the front.  After a few swings they managed to put it down, reducing it to a pile of inert vegetation.  Yuri half expected the barbarian to slice of a chunk of the creature for some future mushroom soup, but Frelik surprised him by demonstrating a rare moment of intelligence and leaving the thing to rot.

Chapter 6

In which the party learns about the many and varied perils of drinking

The following morning found the group slightly rough around the edges, seeing as how Frelik had decided that his mission was to spend a full thirty of his newfound gold pieces on drinks for everyone in the temple of Caden Kailean’s pub... and had been extremely successful in fulfilling his vow.

Luckily they had very little to do before returning to the Godsmouth ossuary that evening to meet with Priestess Nerisia to collect the rest of their payment.

Once the group was – mostly - successfully assembled in the tiny side chapel, late as usual, Valanthe wasted no time in getting to the point, “Oh, that pesky Tengu… I suppose we’ll begin the meeting without him.”

“I’m sure he’ll show up when he’s ready,” Valeria muttered.

“Well, no matter.”  Valanthe replied, laying the rest of their payment out on the table, “And, you folk did such a fine, efficient job with that I would like to present you with another task.  We have received word from another sect of Pharasmans in Mendev that we must send a valuable artefact to them post haste.  I would like to hire you to escort it there.”

“Wait.  Mendev?”  Valeria asked.

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that by the world-wound?”

“Yes.”

“When my kin travel that far east, they do not return with good stories.”  The barbarian pointed out.

“I am aware.”  The priestess nodded, “Your travels will take you up from the cinderlands, through the pass and across the hold of Belksan into Ravenscrow.  From there you will follow the river through Ustalav and then skirt the world-wound, which as you know is a dangerous area filled with demons of every foul description.  Then you will cross the barbaric land of Numeria and straight on into Nerossian, the capital city of Mendev.  The journey is about a thousand miles, all told.”

“Will we get horses?”

She shook her head, “I can provide you with five hundred gold pieces each up front though… and another one thousand each upon delivery.”

“Aren’t there a lot of religious nuts in Mendev?” Valeria asked.

“There are indeed quite a lot of crusaders in Mendev, given its proximity to the world wound.”  The priestess acknowledged.

“Why not just pay a wizard to teleport it?”  Akura frowned.

“We do not have a local wizard we trust.” Valanthe replied simply.

“Do we get to know what it is we’re transporting?” Davros inquired.

“No. “  Valanthe shook her head, “Though it may be of special interest to you to know that our high priest in Mendev is a powerful seer and healer known as the eyeless one.  He may well be able to help you with any various... problems you may be having. “ She glanced pointedly at each person in the room in turn.

“What makes you so confident that the small group of us will be able to get the artefact to its destination safely?” Frelik asked.

“We’ve had consultations with some of the more powerful seers in Kaer Maga from the Augur temple - an order which operates out of the Downmarket.  They have assured us that this is for the best.”

Yuri frowned, the creepy trolls who read the future in their own entrails?  What useful information could those freaks have?

“To help you on your way,” Valanthe continued, “I have found someone who may be able to function as your guide.”

A short and rather dashing figure emerged from the shadows and bowed.

“His name is Reytard,” the priestess explained, “and up until recently, he has been fighting in the crusades in Mendev.”

Magpie chose that moment to wander into the room, just in time to hear Valanthe say, “If you have any further questions please let me know, otherwise I will have the parcel ready for you first thing in the morning.  Feel free to take a few days to prepare before setting out, but I would like you to set out within the week.”

With that she swept out of the room, leaving the group to fill Magpie in on what was being asked of them.

Once the information had been passed on, Valeria turned on the newcomer and said, “So… do you actually have any guiding skills?”

The Halfling shrugged and grinned, “Sure.  Plus I have this map.” He held up a neatly folded piece of paper.

Valeria shrugged, “Works for me.”

There followed a rousing round of introductions to acquaint Reytard with the rest of the group before they returned to the matter at hand.

“Well, the price seems right” Frelik sighed, “but I’m not sure I want to put my faith in a bunch of masochistic trolls…”

“They do have an excellent reputation.” Davros pointed out.

Unable to refute that logic the group dispersed for the rest of the night, Akura to his cell in the temple, the rest of the group back to the Common House to drink and carouse until the wee hours.

As Akura made his way to bed he was shouldered out of the way by a tall figure with scaly green skin and bloodstained white robes, who stumbled past him on his way out of the cathedral clutching his belly and looking very much like one of those prophetic trolls Nerisia had been talking about.

As the evening wore on Valeria, Frelik, Olivine, Yuri, Reytard and his wolf companion Cyrano, get more and more drunk and Magpie wandered the pub, hunting for shiny objects – some of which may have belonged to other patrons. 

As the Magpie made his fifth or sixth round of the bar a group of very drunk Lizardfolk seemed to take particular offense to the bird-man’s presence.  Valeria, who was sitting in a chair against the wall, gasped as her eyes widened, “I think we might be looking at trouble ahead.” She muttered, gaze flicking between the trouble brewing with the Lizardfolk and a table full of rowdy goblins who were starting to get rather rambunctious in another corner.

A clunk and splash from the Lizardfolk’s table was followed immediately by a loud, slurred, “What’re you doin’?”  Punctuated by the angry scrape of a chair on the floor and a surprised squawk.

Valeria drained her beverage and pushed to her feet, yelling something unintelligible at the tableful of Lizardmen.

And from there all hell broke loose.  A moment later every single conscious patron was gleefully joining in the violence - regardless of their level drunkenness. 

Akura chose that moment to wander in, “Hey guys, seems tense in here, what’s goin’ on?”

No one bothered to explain as Frelik stood up and started moving around the edge of the room towards the altercation.

Reytard leapt dashingly (and miraculously, given the amount of ale he’d consumed) onto the back of his dog shouting, “Cyrano!  Let’s face this problem eye to eye!”

As he rode across the room like an avenging knight there was a hideous crash from the corner where the goblins’ table was located... and suddenly that side of the bar was much better lit.  Yuri groaned.  Wonderful.  Now one of his friends was about to get them killed and part of the bar was on fire.

Magpie rushed towards the Lizardmen, babbling in rainbow of languages as he tried to talk them out of a fight.  Unfortunately, some combination of the sounds and gestures he made only notched their rage up to a near uncontrollable level.

Seeing her opportunity, Valeria grabbed the chair she’d been sitting on and charged across the room, attempting to break it over the back of the lead Lizardman.  Her attempt was, shockingly, unsuccessful.

Stumbling drunkenly, Frelik crashed a shoulder into another Lizardman, throwing him through a few chairs and shattering them to splinters before the creature came up hard against a table, landing a few claw scratches across the barbarian’s shoulder.

Another pair of random bar patrons decided to join the fray, hefting their empty tankards and stepping forward, one of them cranking Valeria across the head with the silver mug mumbling, “Don’t take kindly to fights in ‘ere.”

Reytard, spurring his wolf forward, swung his club upside the head of the man who’d spoken, growling, “And I don’t care for your opinions.”

Yuri barely had time to shout a warning before the goblins surged forward from their corner of the bar, which was now a solid conflagration, lit torches and burning chair legs in their hands as they cackled with glee.

With a shriek, Valeria tried to kick her assailant in the face.  She missed horribly, swaying dangerously on her tabletop as she shouted, “Son of a bitch!  Keep your head still!”

Across the bar, Davros burst out of one of the side rooms, half-clothed and wild-eyed as he surveyed the scene before him.  With a yell the alchemist drew one of his tiny bombs from somewhere and threw it, blowing three of the goblins to bits and threatening the rest with a similar fate if they didn’t calm the hell down.

Next to him the gnome, who had merely been glowering at the Lizarmen up until this point, climbed up onto the tabletop and levelled her hands, swaying slightly as she did and muttering, “Nobody hurts my friends!”  Olivine shrieked.  The ray that shot from her hands struck one of the Lizards squarely in the chest and he staggered, suddenly too weak to even hold himself up.

Inspired by the gnome’s actions, the barbarian picked up the man he’d tackled, one hand between his legs, one hand on his shoulder, and slammed the man downward into the top of the table he’d crashed into, smashing it and knocking the Lizard unconscious.

And just like that the battle was over, the remaining Lizardmen holding up their hands and babbling as they backed away from the party.  The rest of the patrons rushed to the bar to find something to quench the burning corner of the bar while the remaining goblins, seeing the situation turn against them, bolted, fleeing through the back door shrieking and cackling.

“Put that away!” the barkeep shouted as Valeria brandished her pistol at the bar in general, “Everyone calm down and get some sleep.”  Slamming one more round down on the bar he growled, “This is it, after this we’re all gonna get some rest.  Aaright?”

Everyone nodded, chagrined and, other than the loud grunts coming from the room Davros had disappeared back into, the rest of the night passed uneventfully.

The following day was filled with much shopping, wheeling and dealing as they acquired mounts and provisions for the long journey ahead and unloaded their remaining precious items.  Yuri, with his share of the money, purchased a horse and covered wagon which looked just like the one his mother had driven him around in as he was growing up.  After a mild amount of begging, he agreed to carry the group’s provisions as well as his own.

After some subtle inquiries about where to purchase some new weapons they were sent to Karthagos, a bloat-mage.

Up on the wall behind his counter was a golden-mithril throwing axe in a glass case with a tiny sign that read: if you must inquire about the price, you cannot afford it.

“What’s so special about that axe?” Frelik asked.

“That axe has a very long and storied history.  It dates back to the wars against the whispering tyrant and was used by one of Aroden’s champions to help defeat one of the tyrant’s greatest creations: a ghostly, multi-eyed creature.  It is a very heavily enchanted item and well out of your price range…. But surely that is not why you are here.  What can I do for you?”

He was indeed the right merchant for them to visit.  He took care of all their requests within minutes.

From there it was over to Tarheel promenade where a pair of men from Iridian Fold kept a suite of rooms... rich, spacious and richly decorated rooms. 

Davros took the lead, holding out the set of Iridian armour to a man dressed in very similar accoutrements.

“Thank you for returning this.”  The man rumbled, “Did you find any of the other items?”

“What other items?” Magpie squawked, looking unbelievably guilty.

“The daggers, chains, the usual… it is a well-known kit.”  He looked disapprovingly at the bird-man.

“Oh.”  The Magpie chuckled nervously, “Yeah, just gimme a sec.”

After some painfully slow rummaging through his pack, the bird-man returned both daggers and the short sword.

Taking them, the armoured man turned and walked over to a cabinet on the far wall, pulling out two heavy-looking sacks, hefted both carefully in his hands and tossed one to Davros who caught it easily, glancing inside it and grinning as he whispered, “Another eight hundred gold guys!”

“Was there something else you needed?”  The imposing, armoured man asked.

“No no.”  Davros said smiling nervously, “We’ll see ourselves out.”

With a nod, the armoured man turned his back on them and glided out of the room, his chained compatriot following him after one quick glance back at the party as they hurried out.

The next few days were spent in drink, gluttony and debauchery as the group waited for their ordered weapons to be ready and carefully packed their kits in preparation for their thirty day trip.  On the fourth day they passed by the Godsmouth Cathedral to pick up the artefact (which was safely secreted away in a hidden compartment of the driving seat of Yuri’s wagon, exactly where his mother had once kept their money and precious family heirlooms) and set out into the cinderlands.

A mere three hours into the journey, in the midst of a flurry of face-palming as Reytard attempted to guide them while holding the map upside-down, Akura cried out and pointed off to their left at a huge, awesome shape looming on the horizon.  It bore a pants-crapping resemblance to a giant shark on four stubby, solid legs.  The group tensed and froze, but the creature didn’t seem to notice them, continuing to graze peacefully.

Valeria half-drew her pistol but Frelik reached out to stay her hand murmuring, “I vote we only attempt to kill animals we can eat… at least in one sitting.  Okay?”

With a grumble, Valeria re-holstered her pistol and continued to watch the creature as they moved on, moving as silently as possible, trying to get past it without drawing its attention.  Much to their relief, after a few minutes it lifted its head and darted off into the distance away from them, clearly having sighted something else it believed was food.

Mercifully, they encountered nothing else before camp that night, Magpie and Yuri took the first watch, Valeria and Frelik had the second, Reytard and Davros third, and Akura and Olivine last.

The night and following day passed peacefully and without event.  Then, on the evening of the second day, during Valeria and Frelik’s watch, nearing midnight as they sat next to the low-glowing fire, passing Valeria’s flask back and forth, they noticed something approaching the camp through the darkness.  Something large and cat-like.

A moment later the creature was upon Frelik as a second one came around the pond they were camped near to attack Valeria.  Near the wagon a commotion erupted simultaneously as two more of the huge cats began harrying the horses that were tied to the wagons, clearly trying to make a meal out of them.

A gunshot ripped at the darkness, rousing the rest of the party (well, except for Reytard) as Valeria fired at the cat coming towards her.  The sound was followed almost immediately by an enraged roar as Frelik began foaming at the mouth and drew a dagger, swiping at the cat which had attacked him.

The cat Valeria had fired at turned and fled into the night as the one grappling with the barbarian snarled and took a second swipe, scoring a solid hit.

Behind the wagon, the horses screams intensified as Akura leapt up onto the roof of the wagon to see what was going on.

Shouting at Frelik to “Stop playing around and finish the thing!” She dashed towards her horse, cut the reins with her sword and hit the side of the horse before slamming to the ground with a grunt next to the sleeping form of the Halfling, who finally stirred and awoke.

Roaring, Frelik sliced again with his dagger, nearly cutting the cat in half as he finally finished it.

Magpie pushed to his feet, picking up a rock and waving his hand over it.  It began to glow and he threw it up over the wagon towards the whinnying horses.  Demonstrating a surprising agility for the middle of the night, Akura reached out and caught the stone, illuminating the scene of the cats attacking the horses.

Clamouring over Valeria, who was still on her knees, Olivine climbed up to join Akura on top of the wagon as Davros hurled a bomb just past the two cats, entangling one and singeing them both.  The un-entangled one took off like a shot into the night as the entangled one tried to follow, limping off slowly.

Taking the moral high-ground by not attacking a retreating foe, Akura dropped off the wagon to check on the horses.  Luckily only one was badly wounded, unconscious but not dead.  The monk managed to pull out some amazing healing skills and stabilized it, but it was still unconscious.

Valeria, on the other hand, tried to chase after the remaining cat and sink a sword into it but missed horribly.

Frelik collapsed onto his butt, panting and dabbing at the blood all over him.

Magpie rushed over to the horse, applying a healing spell to it and returning it to consciousness.

With a grimace, Olivine held out her hands, a wobbling ray of light emanating from her and striking the fleeing cat.  It stumbled, obviously weakening.

Davros moved over to the horse, helping to calm it as the Magpie continued to help it.

The remaining cat whirled, raking two claws across Valeria’s face for trying to hurt it.  Davros stepped up next to the gunslinger and put a hand on her arm, saying, “Just let it go.”

After a moment’s hesitation she holstered her pistol and spun on her heel, muttering, “Not worth it anyway.” before walking over to check on her horse as the cat slunk off into the night.

After having healing the horse and the barbarian, the group returned to bed to rest up for whatever the next day held.