Chapter 6

In which the party learns about the many and varied perils of drinking

The following morning found the group slightly rough around the edges, seeing as how Frelik had decided that his mission was to spend a full thirty of his newfound gold pieces on drinks for everyone in the temple of Caden Kailean’s pub... and had been extremely successful in fulfilling his vow.

Luckily they had very little to do before returning to the Godsmouth ossuary that evening to meet with Priestess Nerisia to collect the rest of their payment.

Once the group was – mostly - successfully assembled in the tiny side chapel, late as usual, Valanthe wasted no time in getting to the point, “Oh, that pesky Tengu… I suppose we’ll begin the meeting without him.”

“I’m sure he’ll show up when he’s ready,” Valeria muttered.

“Well, no matter.”  Valanthe replied, laying the rest of their payment out on the table, “And, you folk did such a fine, efficient job with that I would like to present you with another task.  We have received word from another sect of Pharasmans in Mendev that we must send a valuable artefact to them post haste.  I would like to hire you to escort it there.”

“Wait.  Mendev?”  Valeria asked.

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that by the world-wound?”

“Yes.”

“When my kin travel that far east, they do not return with good stories.”  The barbarian pointed out.

“I am aware.”  The priestess nodded, “Your travels will take you up from the cinderlands, through the pass and across the hold of Belksan into Ravenscrow.  From there you will follow the river through Ustalav and then skirt the world-wound, which as you know is a dangerous area filled with demons of every foul description.  Then you will cross the barbaric land of Numeria and straight on into Nerossian, the capital city of Mendev.  The journey is about a thousand miles, all told.”

“Will we get horses?”

She shook her head, “I can provide you with five hundred gold pieces each up front though… and another one thousand each upon delivery.”

“Aren’t there a lot of religious nuts in Mendev?” Valeria asked.

“There are indeed quite a lot of crusaders in Mendev, given its proximity to the world wound.”  The priestess acknowledged.

“Why not just pay a wizard to teleport it?”  Akura frowned.

“We do not have a local wizard we trust.” Valanthe replied simply.

“Do we get to know what it is we’re transporting?” Davros inquired.

“No. “  Valanthe shook her head, “Though it may be of special interest to you to know that our high priest in Mendev is a powerful seer and healer known as the eyeless one.  He may well be able to help you with any various... problems you may be having. “ She glanced pointedly at each person in the room in turn.

“What makes you so confident that the small group of us will be able to get the artefact to its destination safely?” Frelik asked.

“We’ve had consultations with some of the more powerful seers in Kaer Maga from the Augur temple - an order which operates out of the Downmarket.  They have assured us that this is for the best.”

Yuri frowned, the creepy trolls who read the future in their own entrails?  What useful information could those freaks have?

“To help you on your way,” Valanthe continued, “I have found someone who may be able to function as your guide.”

A short and rather dashing figure emerged from the shadows and bowed.

“His name is Reytard,” the priestess explained, “and up until recently, he has been fighting in the crusades in Mendev.”

Magpie chose that moment to wander into the room, just in time to hear Valanthe say, “If you have any further questions please let me know, otherwise I will have the parcel ready for you first thing in the morning.  Feel free to take a few days to prepare before setting out, but I would like you to set out within the week.”

With that she swept out of the room, leaving the group to fill Magpie in on what was being asked of them.

Once the information had been passed on, Valeria turned on the newcomer and said, “So… do you actually have any guiding skills?”

The Halfling shrugged and grinned, “Sure.  Plus I have this map.” He held up a neatly folded piece of paper.

Valeria shrugged, “Works for me.”

There followed a rousing round of introductions to acquaint Reytard with the rest of the group before they returned to the matter at hand.

“Well, the price seems right” Frelik sighed, “but I’m not sure I want to put my faith in a bunch of masochistic trolls…”

“They do have an excellent reputation.” Davros pointed out.

Unable to refute that logic the group dispersed for the rest of the night, Akura to his cell in the temple, the rest of the group back to the Common House to drink and carouse until the wee hours.

As Akura made his way to bed he was shouldered out of the way by a tall figure with scaly green skin and bloodstained white robes, who stumbled past him on his way out of the cathedral clutching his belly and looking very much like one of those prophetic trolls Nerisia had been talking about.

As the evening wore on Valeria, Frelik, Olivine, Yuri, Reytard and his wolf companion Cyrano, get more and more drunk and Magpie wandered the pub, hunting for shiny objects – some of which may have belonged to other patrons. 

As the Magpie made his fifth or sixth round of the bar a group of very drunk Lizardfolk seemed to take particular offense to the bird-man’s presence.  Valeria, who was sitting in a chair against the wall, gasped as her eyes widened, “I think we might be looking at trouble ahead.” She muttered, gaze flicking between the trouble brewing with the Lizardfolk and a table full of rowdy goblins who were starting to get rather rambunctious in another corner.

A clunk and splash from the Lizardfolk’s table was followed immediately by a loud, slurred, “What’re you doin’?”  Punctuated by the angry scrape of a chair on the floor and a surprised squawk.

Valeria drained her beverage and pushed to her feet, yelling something unintelligible at the tableful of Lizardmen.

And from there all hell broke loose.  A moment later every single conscious patron was gleefully joining in the violence - regardless of their level drunkenness. 

Akura chose that moment to wander in, “Hey guys, seems tense in here, what’s goin’ on?”

No one bothered to explain as Frelik stood up and started moving around the edge of the room towards the altercation.

Reytard leapt dashingly (and miraculously, given the amount of ale he’d consumed) onto the back of his dog shouting, “Cyrano!  Let’s face this problem eye to eye!”

As he rode across the room like an avenging knight there was a hideous crash from the corner where the goblins’ table was located... and suddenly that side of the bar was much better lit.  Yuri groaned.  Wonderful.  Now one of his friends was about to get them killed and part of the bar was on fire.

Magpie rushed towards the Lizardmen, babbling in rainbow of languages as he tried to talk them out of a fight.  Unfortunately, some combination of the sounds and gestures he made only notched their rage up to a near uncontrollable level.

Seeing her opportunity, Valeria grabbed the chair she’d been sitting on and charged across the room, attempting to break it over the back of the lead Lizardman.  Her attempt was, shockingly, unsuccessful.

Stumbling drunkenly, Frelik crashed a shoulder into another Lizardman, throwing him through a few chairs and shattering them to splinters before the creature came up hard against a table, landing a few claw scratches across the barbarian’s shoulder.

Another pair of random bar patrons decided to join the fray, hefting their empty tankards and stepping forward, one of them cranking Valeria across the head with the silver mug mumbling, “Don’t take kindly to fights in ‘ere.”

Reytard, spurring his wolf forward, swung his club upside the head of the man who’d spoken, growling, “And I don’t care for your opinions.”

Yuri barely had time to shout a warning before the goblins surged forward from their corner of the bar, which was now a solid conflagration, lit torches and burning chair legs in their hands as they cackled with glee.

With a shriek, Valeria tried to kick her assailant in the face.  She missed horribly, swaying dangerously on her tabletop as she shouted, “Son of a bitch!  Keep your head still!”

Across the bar, Davros burst out of one of the side rooms, half-clothed and wild-eyed as he surveyed the scene before him.  With a yell the alchemist drew one of his tiny bombs from somewhere and threw it, blowing three of the goblins to bits and threatening the rest with a similar fate if they didn’t calm the hell down.

Next to him the gnome, who had merely been glowering at the Lizarmen up until this point, climbed up onto the tabletop and levelled her hands, swaying slightly as she did and muttering, “Nobody hurts my friends!”  Olivine shrieked.  The ray that shot from her hands struck one of the Lizards squarely in the chest and he staggered, suddenly too weak to even hold himself up.

Inspired by the gnome’s actions, the barbarian picked up the man he’d tackled, one hand between his legs, one hand on his shoulder, and slammed the man downward into the top of the table he’d crashed into, smashing it and knocking the Lizard unconscious.

And just like that the battle was over, the remaining Lizardmen holding up their hands and babbling as they backed away from the party.  The rest of the patrons rushed to the bar to find something to quench the burning corner of the bar while the remaining goblins, seeing the situation turn against them, bolted, fleeing through the back door shrieking and cackling.

“Put that away!” the barkeep shouted as Valeria brandished her pistol at the bar in general, “Everyone calm down and get some sleep.”  Slamming one more round down on the bar he growled, “This is it, after this we’re all gonna get some rest.  Aaright?”

Everyone nodded, chagrined and, other than the loud grunts coming from the room Davros had disappeared back into, the rest of the night passed uneventfully.

The following day was filled with much shopping, wheeling and dealing as they acquired mounts and provisions for the long journey ahead and unloaded their remaining precious items.  Yuri, with his share of the money, purchased a horse and covered wagon which looked just like the one his mother had driven him around in as he was growing up.  After a mild amount of begging, he agreed to carry the group’s provisions as well as his own.

After some subtle inquiries about where to purchase some new weapons they were sent to Karthagos, a bloat-mage.

Up on the wall behind his counter was a golden-mithril throwing axe in a glass case with a tiny sign that read: if you must inquire about the price, you cannot afford it.

“What’s so special about that axe?” Frelik asked.

“That axe has a very long and storied history.  It dates back to the wars against the whispering tyrant and was used by one of Aroden’s champions to help defeat one of the tyrant’s greatest creations: a ghostly, multi-eyed creature.  It is a very heavily enchanted item and well out of your price range…. But surely that is not why you are here.  What can I do for you?”

He was indeed the right merchant for them to visit.  He took care of all their requests within minutes.

From there it was over to Tarheel promenade where a pair of men from Iridian Fold kept a suite of rooms... rich, spacious and richly decorated rooms. 

Davros took the lead, holding out the set of Iridian armour to a man dressed in very similar accoutrements.

“Thank you for returning this.”  The man rumbled, “Did you find any of the other items?”

“What other items?” Magpie squawked, looking unbelievably guilty.

“The daggers, chains, the usual… it is a well-known kit.”  He looked disapprovingly at the bird-man.

“Oh.”  The Magpie chuckled nervously, “Yeah, just gimme a sec.”

After some painfully slow rummaging through his pack, the bird-man returned both daggers and the short sword.

Taking them, the armoured man turned and walked over to a cabinet on the far wall, pulling out two heavy-looking sacks, hefted both carefully in his hands and tossed one to Davros who caught it easily, glancing inside it and grinning as he whispered, “Another eight hundred gold guys!”

“Was there something else you needed?”  The imposing, armoured man asked.

“No no.”  Davros said smiling nervously, “We’ll see ourselves out.”

With a nod, the armoured man turned his back on them and glided out of the room, his chained compatriot following him after one quick glance back at the party as they hurried out.

The next few days were spent in drink, gluttony and debauchery as the group waited for their ordered weapons to be ready and carefully packed their kits in preparation for their thirty day trip.  On the fourth day they passed by the Godsmouth Cathedral to pick up the artefact (which was safely secreted away in a hidden compartment of the driving seat of Yuri’s wagon, exactly where his mother had once kept their money and precious family heirlooms) and set out into the cinderlands.

A mere three hours into the journey, in the midst of a flurry of face-palming as Reytard attempted to guide them while holding the map upside-down, Akura cried out and pointed off to their left at a huge, awesome shape looming on the horizon.  It bore a pants-crapping resemblance to a giant shark on four stubby, solid legs.  The group tensed and froze, but the creature didn’t seem to notice them, continuing to graze peacefully.

Valeria half-drew her pistol but Frelik reached out to stay her hand murmuring, “I vote we only attempt to kill animals we can eat… at least in one sitting.  Okay?”

With a grumble, Valeria re-holstered her pistol and continued to watch the creature as they moved on, moving as silently as possible, trying to get past it without drawing its attention.  Much to their relief, after a few minutes it lifted its head and darted off into the distance away from them, clearly having sighted something else it believed was food.

Mercifully, they encountered nothing else before camp that night, Magpie and Yuri took the first watch, Valeria and Frelik had the second, Reytard and Davros third, and Akura and Olivine last.

The night and following day passed peacefully and without event.  Then, on the evening of the second day, during Valeria and Frelik’s watch, nearing midnight as they sat next to the low-glowing fire, passing Valeria’s flask back and forth, they noticed something approaching the camp through the darkness.  Something large and cat-like.

A moment later the creature was upon Frelik as a second one came around the pond they were camped near to attack Valeria.  Near the wagon a commotion erupted simultaneously as two more of the huge cats began harrying the horses that were tied to the wagons, clearly trying to make a meal out of them.

A gunshot ripped at the darkness, rousing the rest of the party (well, except for Reytard) as Valeria fired at the cat coming towards her.  The sound was followed almost immediately by an enraged roar as Frelik began foaming at the mouth and drew a dagger, swiping at the cat which had attacked him.

The cat Valeria had fired at turned and fled into the night as the one grappling with the barbarian snarled and took a second swipe, scoring a solid hit.

Behind the wagon, the horses screams intensified as Akura leapt up onto the roof of the wagon to see what was going on.

Shouting at Frelik to “Stop playing around and finish the thing!” She dashed towards her horse, cut the reins with her sword and hit the side of the horse before slamming to the ground with a grunt next to the sleeping form of the Halfling, who finally stirred and awoke.

Roaring, Frelik sliced again with his dagger, nearly cutting the cat in half as he finally finished it.

Magpie pushed to his feet, picking up a rock and waving his hand over it.  It began to glow and he threw it up over the wagon towards the whinnying horses.  Demonstrating a surprising agility for the middle of the night, Akura reached out and caught the stone, illuminating the scene of the cats attacking the horses.

Clamouring over Valeria, who was still on her knees, Olivine climbed up to join Akura on top of the wagon as Davros hurled a bomb just past the two cats, entangling one and singeing them both.  The un-entangled one took off like a shot into the night as the entangled one tried to follow, limping off slowly.

Taking the moral high-ground by not attacking a retreating foe, Akura dropped off the wagon to check on the horses.  Luckily only one was badly wounded, unconscious but not dead.  The monk managed to pull out some amazing healing skills and stabilized it, but it was still unconscious.

Valeria, on the other hand, tried to chase after the remaining cat and sink a sword into it but missed horribly.

Frelik collapsed onto his butt, panting and dabbing at the blood all over him.

Magpie rushed over to the horse, applying a healing spell to it and returning it to consciousness.

With a grimace, Olivine held out her hands, a wobbling ray of light emanating from her and striking the fleeing cat.  It stumbled, obviously weakening.

Davros moved over to the horse, helping to calm it as the Magpie continued to help it.

The remaining cat whirled, raking two claws across Valeria’s face for trying to hurt it.  Davros stepped up next to the gunslinger and put a hand on her arm, saying, “Just let it go.”

After a moment’s hesitation she holstered her pistol and spun on her heel, muttering, “Not worth it anyway.” before walking over to check on her horse as the cat slunk off into the night.

After having healing the horse and the barbarian, the group returned to bed to rest up for whatever the next day held.